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Write about the following topic: The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples v.2

: The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? 2
Medical has increased quickly these days. Many people could treat their health problems in various ways, and they also prevent illness from testing their body in a regularly. However, there are some concerns about people' s health, because it will be lower in the future than it is now. On the other hand, many scientists and doctors argue that we don' t have to worry about the medical care in the future, because it will develop plenty of ways, and it also include the reasonable ways of price or accessibility. In reality, many medical treats are developed, so patients could treat their ill and they keep their health problem from medial care. However, a lot of people haven' t been cured in the hospital because of the price. They don' t have enough money to be treated, so they just have endured their sickness, and it became more worse than before. Furthermore, according to the recent study, many younger generation prefer to eat unhealthy food, like junk food and fast food, rather than eat healthy food like slow food and vegetables. So many nutrients have been not given to younger generation, so they will be getting illness in the long run. Allowing people to eat junk food could make bad results of health in the future. However, most of scientists and doctors claim that we don' t have to worry about health in the future, because medical treatment has developed really faster than before. According to the articles, there are lots of projects have been done for improving the cure environment. Also, when they will succeed to make various medicines and antibiotics in the future, patients might not worry about their sickness by the price. Many majors say the medicines and treatment price will be reasonable in the near future. Additionally, a number of people who study the food might consider unhealthy food to become healthier in the future these days. So fast food have made in good ingredients without using bad materials, also many healthy food will make faster than before because of the improvement of food making devices. As a result of developing the field of food industry and science, people could enjoy the healthy food in short time and better taste. People' s health is one of the most controversial issues that people like debating about. Because of the price and unhealthy food, many younger people are easily getting sickness than before. However, we don' t need to worry about the health problem because many majors of the field of science and technology are helping to improve our health care in reasonable ways, and make more healthy food in common.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Medical
has increased
quickly
these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could treat their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
, and they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
illness from testing their body in a
regularly
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
concerns about
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will be lower in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
than it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scientists and doctors argue that we
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worry
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
care in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
, and it
also
Did you mean "includes"?
include
the reasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
or accessibility.

In reality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treats
are developed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
patients could treat their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ill and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problem from medial care.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
haven&
#039; t
been cured
in the hospital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
. They
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
be treated
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
have endured their sickness, and it became
Use only "worse" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more worse
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
.
Furthermore
, according to the recent study,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
younger generation prefer to eat unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, like junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
rather
than eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like slow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and vegetables.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nutrients have been not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to younger generation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will be getting illness in the long run. Allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to eat junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
results of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in the future.

However
,
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the scientists") or simply say "most scientists".
most of scientists
and doctors claim that we
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worry
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatment has developed
really
faster than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
. According to the articles, there are lots of projects have
been done
for improving the cure environment.
Also
, when they will succeed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
various medicines and antibiotics in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, patients might not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worry
about their sickness by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
majors say the medicines and treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
will be reasonable in the near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Additionally
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who study the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
might consider unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to become healthier in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
have made in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ingredients without using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
materials,
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
faster than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
making devices.
As a result
of developing the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
industry and science,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in short time and better taste.

Possible spelling mistake found.
People&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is one of the most controversial issues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like debating about.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
and unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
easily
getting sickness than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
.
However
, we
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worry
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
majors of the field of science and technology are helping to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care in reasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in common.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
70Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay : The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
443 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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