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Write about the following topic: The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples v.1

: The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? 1
It is true that the text messaging surpasses the phone calling by many times. There are two main reasons for that, including the financial and the psychological ones. This essay will discuss what are these reasons as well as by how much it is advantageous to text compared to making phone calls. Firstly, despite the fact that the phone calls allow the people to get engaged in real conversations and hear someone's voice, they incur some extra costs unlike the text messaging. Moreover, when speaking over the phone it is not possible to alter what has been said, while when the text messaging allows you to edit your words before the text is being sent. For example, the National Data Research in the EU in 2015 has shown that even though the text messaging accounted for more than 70% of the digital communication between the EU citizens, it costed 5 times less than the phone calling. As a result, the text messaging was more advantageous than the phone calling in terms of money. Secondly, there is always a psychological side of the people's preference to text rather than make phone calls. Unless the both sides of a conversation are engaged in a friendly talk, it is more convenient to send messages while being engaged in a formal communication. For example, all the previous studies of the Journal of Psychology have revealed that the people tend to be more reserved in more formal conversations. Furthermore, the option to correct what one wants to communicate with another person encourages the people to be more open than when talking directly over the phone. In conclusion, the text messaging volume will be growing even further due to these two main reasons, such as the less cost and the option to edit associated with the text messaging. However, the phone talks will continue to be more advantageous between the close friends and the family members.
It is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
messaging surpasses the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
calling by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times. There are two main reasons for that, including the financial and the psychological ones. This essay will discuss what are these reasons
as well
as by how much it is advantageous to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
compared to making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
calls.

Firstly
, despite the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
calls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
engaged in real conversations and hear someone's voice, they incur
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra costs unlike the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
messaging.
Moreover
, when speaking over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
it is not possible to alter what has
been said
, while when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
messaging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
you to edit your words
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
.
For example
, the National Data Research in the EU in 2015 has shown that
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
messaging accounted for more than 70% of the digital communication between the EU citizens, it costed 5 times less than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
calling.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
messaging was more advantageous than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
calling in terms of money.

Secondly
, there is always a psychological side of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's preference to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
calls. Unless the both sides of a conversation
are engaged
in a friendly talk, it is more convenient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages while
being engaged
in a formal communication.
For example
, all the previous studies of the Journal of Psychology have revealed that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to be more reserved in more formal conversations.
Furthermore
, the option to correct what one wants to communicate with another person encourages the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be more open than when talking
directly
over the phone.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
messaging volume will be growing even
further
due to these two main reasons, such as the less cost and the option to edit associated with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
text
messaging.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
talks will continue to be more advantageous between the close friends and the family members.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay : The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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