Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

These days, many school-aged children own a smart phone. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at 250 words. v.2

These days, many school-aged children own a smart phone. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Write at 250 words. v. 2
In recent years, smart phone has become an essential device for most people. Regardless of age, many adults usually use smart phones in various ways. Additionally, children who attend the school have their own smart phones. By using smart phones, they can easily find out information which helps children to study deeply. On the other hand, it doesn' t give student not only advantages but also disadvantages. It causes serious problems, so many parents worry about students who own smart phones. After smart phones become common devices to students, they can easily contact to their family. Furthermore, many applications have been come out these days for presenting the student' s location to parents. One article which I saw last year, because of application, which show student' s location, they could find their children if they don' t go academies or school. Also, it is useful to study alone at home of a cafe. I saw many students attending online class by using their smart phones. It helps students to focus their study which they hard to understand. However, it doesn' t always give advantages to them. Some school-aged children have gotten lower grade because of smart phones. Furthermore, the number of students who got grade problem has increased in recent years. When I was a high school student, I had a smart phone as other students. It was really useful at first time, however, it had made me distracted than before. I couldn' t focus on study during exam period because of social network services. I want to check every time and contact with friends. Smart phone made me feel to belonging my friends. Since my grades become worse, my parents had prohibited the smart phone during exam period. Moreover, that problem occurs not only me but also other friends. So many friends got stress from smart phones and grades. In addition, it has prevented the bond of parents and children. It is proper device for contacting without limitation, but it makes distance from students and parents. These days, we could see the moment that school-aged children only focus on smart phones during having meal with parents in restaurants. Additionally, more younger children, 1~7 years old, watch kids program by smart phones while parents take their dishes. It is good to be making them calm in the public places, but in the long run, that will cause children can live without smart phone. Many people argue that smart phone is vital device these days. It improves people' s lives, as well as technologies. Investors still have developed smart phones in various ways for better lifestyles. However, we should be careful not to addict on smart phones. They might cause serious problems to people, especially school-aged students. We should make alternatives to protect children from addiction of smart phones.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has become an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Regardless of age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adults
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in various ways.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who attend the school have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. By using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, they can
easily
find out information which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
deeply
.
On the other hand
, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
disadvantages. It causes serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
worry about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
phones.

After
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
become common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they can
easily
contact to their family.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
applications have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out these days for presenting the
Possible spelling mistake found.
student&
#039; s location to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. One article which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
last year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of application, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
Possible spelling mistake found.
student&
#039; s location, they could find their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if they
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t go academies or school.
Also
, it is useful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
alone at home of a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
attending online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
by using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to focus their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to understand.
However
, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t always give advantages to them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
school-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have gotten lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
Furthermore
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
has increased in recent years.

When I was a high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, I had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
as other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It was
really
useful at
first
time,
however
, it had made me
Use "(distracted)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
distracted
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
couldn&
#039; t focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
during exam period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of social network services. I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
every time and contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
made me feel to belonging my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Since my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
become worse, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
had prohibited the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
during exam period.
Moreover
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
occurs not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
.
In addition
, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
the bond of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a proper" or "is an proper"
is proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
for contacting without limitation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
distance from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. These days, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the moment that school-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
during having meal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in restaurants.
Additionally
,
Use only "younger" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, 1~7 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
kids program by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take their dishes. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to be making them calm in the public places,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the long run, that will cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
phone.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
these days. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
as well
as technologies. Investors
still
have developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in various ways for better lifestyles.
However
, we should be careful not to addict on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. They might cause serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
school-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. We should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
alternatives to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from addiction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
88Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay These days, many school-aged children own a smart phone. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Write at 250 words. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
468 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts