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Write about the following topic Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today Are these shows a good method of finding talented people or are they just entertainment Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from v.1

Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today Are these shows a good method of finding talented people or are they just entertainment 1
Taking a break, usually a year between finishing school and resuming education has rapidly become widespread. This break is quite beneficial to some as it affords many the opportunity to work and save funds. However, there are some associated drawbacks such as getting involved with bad friends and these will be discussed in the essay Most students decide to take a holiday before the onset of university academic study and this comes with various benefits. Firstly, it enables them to obtain a job that allows them to save up funds and become financially stable, at the same time gain experience. Secondly, a few students may decide to take up tutorial classes involving the course to be lectured in school. As such, these students are mentally prepared at the resumption of academic work and excels greatly. For instance, my sister took up a catering appointment at a bakery, where she is involved in the art of baking cakes, biscuits and bread. Ultimately, she is at an advantage, gaining both financially and obtaining a baking experience. On the other hand, students who decide on taking a break from academics may end up hanging around with bad friends in the neighbourhood. As a result, they get involved in vices such as smoking, drinking and theft. This costly decision may result in an ill health or loss of life. For example, a family friend, whose son decided on a year relaxation from school got involved with some cultist in his neighbourhood and lost his life during a shootout. Hence, a year off, prior to becoming an undergraduate can be disastrous. In conclusion, the character of the activities to be carried out by students who takes a leave from academic work prior to resumption of university study should be well guided by parents or tutors, as this decision could either be beneficial or deadly.
Taking a break,
usually
a year between finishing school and resuming education has
rapidly
become widespread. This break is quite beneficial to
some
as it affords
many
the opportunity to work and save funds.
However
, there are
some
associated drawbacks such as getting involved with
bad
friends and these will
be discussed
in the essay

Most
students
decide to take a holiday
before
the onset of university
academic
study and this
comes
with various benefits.
Firstly
, it enables them to obtain a job that
allows
them to save up funds and become
financially
stable, at the same time gain experience.
Secondly
, a few
students
may decide to take up tutorial classes involving the course to
be lectured
in school. As such, these
students
are mentally prepared at the resumption of
academic
work and excels
greatly
.
For instance
, my sister took up a catering appointment at a bakery, where she
is involved
in the art of baking cakes, biscuits and bread.
Ultimately
, she is at an advantage, gaining both
financially
and obtaining a baking experience.

On the other hand
,
students
who decide on taking a break from
academics
may
end
up hanging around with
bad
friends in the
neighbourhood
.
As a result
, they
get
involved in vices such as smoking, drinking and theft. This costly decision may result in an ill health or loss of life.
For example
, a family friend, whose son decided on a year relaxation from school
got
involved with
some
cultist in his
neighbourhood
and lost his life during a shootout.
Hence
, a year off, prior to becoming an undergraduate can be disastrous.

In conclusion
, the character of the activities to
be carried
out by
students
who
takes
a
leave
from
academic
work prior to resumption of university study should be well guided by parents or tutors, as this decision could either be beneficial or deadly.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today Are these shows a good method of finding talented people or are they just entertainment 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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