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Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.6

Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment? v. 6
In today's world, there are a lot of talented people, who could be found easily in many ways. One of them, which in my view is the most popular in many societies, is through televised talent shows. However, besides the purpose of finding talented ones, TV talent shows could also be really entertaining. I think, all of the talent shows are a positively good way to find talented people. The people with talents could come to the shows to show off their abilities, such as singing, dancing, doing magic tricks. . . Also, I think, the talent shows could give all of the contestants an extremely good opportunity: they become known to a lot of people. After the shows, the contestants could continue to pursue their dreams with fewer obstacles on their ways. However, in my opinion, TV programs are all about ratings. The higher the ratings, the more people enjoy the shows. Therefore, all of the talent shows must have something entertaining to attract the viewers, which to increase the ratings of the shows. For example, in American Idol, there are always some bizarre people doing really strange things, which is not related to singing at all. Those people could not get to the next round for sure, but they attract a lot of people to watch them, which brings the show a really high rating. For that reason, I believe talent shows are also entertained. In conclusion, in my view, TV talent shows are a good way to look for people with natural abilities to sing, to dance, etc. Moreover, they could also be a really entertaining way to relax on our free time.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who could
be found
easily
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. One of them, which in my view is the most popular in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies, is through televised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
.
However
,
besides
the purpose of finding talented ones, TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
could
also
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
entertaining.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are a
positively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to find talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
off their abilities, such as singing, dancing, doing magic tricks.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Also
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
could give
Consider using "all the".
all of the
contestants an
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity: they become known to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. After the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, the contestants could continue to pursue their dreams with fewer obstacles on their ways.

However
, in my opinion, TV programs are all about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratings
. The higher the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratings
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
.
Therefore
,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have something entertaining to attract the viewers, which to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratings
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
.
For example
, in American Idol, there are always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
bizarre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
strange things, which is not related to singing at all. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the
next
round for sure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them, which brings the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rating
. For that reason, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are
also
entertained.

In conclusion
, in my view, TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with natural abilities to sing, to dance, etc.
Moreover
, they could
also
be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
entertaining way to relax on our free time.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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