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Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.4

Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment? v. 4
In many parts of the world, talent competitions on TV have massively grown in popularity as we see the rapidly rising number of audience of such programs. While some critics might regard them as solely entertaining, I believe that these shows are an effective means of seeking for new talented artists. In my opinion, there are several reasons why such entertaining shows could be efficient methods in order to find out gifted people. Firstly, entering a talent contest is a perfect way of getting noticed in the industry or exposure to a wider audience. For instance, singers can use televised star sought after shows to earn more experience in the music industry as well as performing on stage. Without such experience, it would be extremely difficult for a singer to decide which songs work well for a fan and which don’t. Secondly, spectators who follow gift acts broadcasted on television could be absolutely entertained or even encouraged to chase their long-cherished dreams. Whereas watching those shows, people can imagine themselves on stage, striving to be successful, believing that it is possible to make their aspiration come into reality. Susan Boyle, for example, would never be able to become an official singer if she had not been on Britain's Got Talent. Of course, no one can deny the recreational aspect of those TV programs as the majority of acts are exceptionally remarkable and have never been performed in public before. Perhaps this could explain why such entertaining shows always get high viewing figures. However, for many unknown talents, these competitions are a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to show off their ability to the world. In conclusion, it seems to me that talent shows can bring various merits to those who might concern in terms of recreation and profession.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
competitions on TV have
massively
grown in popularity as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
rapidly
rising number of audience of such programs. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critics might regard them as
solely
entertaining, I believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are an effective means of seeking for new talented artists.

In my opinion, there are several reasons why such entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
could be efficient methods in order to find out gifted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Firstly
, entering a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
contest is a perfect way of getting noticed in the industry or exposure to a wider audience.
For instance
, singers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
televised star sought after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
to earn more experience in the music industry
as well
as performing on stage. Without such experience, it would be
extremely
difficult for a singer to decide which songs work well for a fan and which don’t.
Secondly
, spectators who follow gift acts broadcasted on television could be
absolutely
entertained or even encouraged to chase their long-cherished dreams. Whereas watching those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can imagine themselves on stage, striving to be successful, believing that it is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their aspiration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into reality. Susan Boyle,
for example
, would never be able to become an official singer if she had not been on Britain's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Got
Talent.

Of course
, no one can deny the recreational aspect of those TV programs as the majority of acts are
exceptionally
remarkable and have never
been performed
in public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Perhaps this could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why such entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high viewing figures.
However
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
, these competitions are a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
off their ability to the world.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
can bring various merits to those who might concern in terms of recreation and profession.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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