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Write about the following topic: Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words. v.1

: Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v. 1
Nowadays, the number of people eating nonvegetarian has started declining. Even some people chose to be vegan because they believe that eating animals can impact their health as well as the whole world. This essay is going to discuss the reason behind this view and also going to state examples to support the view. Firstly, animals play a very vital role in maintaining the ecological balance of the earth. In addition to this, the animal provides us many useful products such as silk, milk, leather etc. Killing animals for the purpose of food can decline their population which can disturb the biological cycle of the earth. In one of the recent studies, I read that at least 200 species of animals are decreasing because of human meat consumption habits. Therefore, we can say that eating meat can have a huge impact on the whole earth. Secondly, the interaction of germs transferred from the animal body can cause unforeseen harm to the human body. For instance, in one of the newspapers, it was published that the Coronavirus issue with which all the countries are currently going through is caused by eating bats. On the other hand, they are also a  few advantages of eating animal such as eating fish will keep the body warm especially in winters, drinking chicken soup can help a person to cure broken leg. Thus, we can say that eating animals can sometimes cause serious health issues. To summarize, we can conclude that eating meat or fish has both pros and cons. In my opinion, it should be an individual decision to have it or not to have it.
Nowadays, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
Possible spelling mistake found.
nonvegetarian
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
declining. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
chose to be vegan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can impact their health
as well
as the whole world. This essay is going to discuss the reason behind this view and
also
going to state examples to support the view.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital role in maintaining the ecological balance of the earth.
In addition
to this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
provides us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful products such as silk, milk, leather etc. Killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for the purpose of food can decline their population which can disturb the biological cycle of the earth. In one of the recent studies, I read that at least 200 species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are decreasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of human meat consumption habits.
Therefore
, we can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
meat can have a huge impact
on the whole
earth.

Secondly
, the interaction of germs transferred from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
body can cause unforeseen harm to the human body.
For instance
, in one of the newspapers, it
was published
that the Coronavirus issue with which all the countries are
currently
going through
is caused
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
bats.
On the other hand
, they are
also
a
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
  
few advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
fish will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the body warm
especially
in winters, drinking chicken soup can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a person to cure broken leg.
Thus
, we can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
cause serious health issues.

To summarize
, we can conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
meat or fish has both pros and cons. In my opinion, it should be an individual decision to have it or not to have it.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay : Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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