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In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of the cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of the cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
Government in a few countries is supporting industries and businesses to plan in regional areas rather than cities. In my opinion the advantages of doing so will be more beneficial than the disadvantages. However, the local bodies of the regional areas and people residing in regional areas should be given the option to choose. Shifting of the industries to regional areas improves regional development. Employment and financial growth is observed with a shift of businesses in regional areas. For example, there is a scope of job creation for the locals which help in the improvement of their lives. Government encouraging industries to move out of urban areas improves quality of life of people living in urban. To name some of pollutions like air, water will be decreased by the governments ask. The natural resources can be properly utilized in urban and resource depletion would not be at risk. In the view of vacating of the industries from cities can cause them advantages as resources can be obtained easily and less economy will be utilized. For example the salary paid for the labour would be low compared to labour paid in urban areas and the availability of workers is easy in urban areas As per people residing in regional areas the problems associated were, their habitat might be at risk of pollution in the name of development. When pollutants emitted from industries are properly recycled and doesn't damage the habitat of local people the government decision is appreciable. Overall, there are more advantages such as economic and social development with few disadvantages like pollution, which can be managed with effective control. I would think advantageous mask the disadvantages in the context.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
in a few countries is supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and businesses to plan in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
rather
than cities. In my opinion the advantages of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
will be more beneficial than the disadvantages.
However
, the local bodies of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
residing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the option to choose.

Shifting of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
development. Employment and financial growth
is observed
with a shift of businesses in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
For example
, there is a scope of job creation for the locals which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the improvement of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
quality of life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
. To name
After 'some of', you should use 'the' ("some of the pollutions") or simply say "some pollutions".
some of pollutions
like air, water will
be decreased
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
ask. The natural resources can be
properly
utilized in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
and resource depletion would not be at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.

In the view of vacating of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
from cities can cause them advantages as resources can
be obtained
easily
and less economy will
be utilized
.
For example
the salary paid for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
would be low compared to
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
paid in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and the availability of workers is easy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
areas


As per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
residing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
the problems associated were, their habitat might be at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of pollution in the name of development. When pollutants emitted from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
are
properly
recycled and doesn't damage the habitat of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
decision is appreciable.

Overall
, there are more advantages such as economic and social development with few disadvantages like pollution, which can
be managed
with effective control. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
advantageous mask the disadvantages in the context.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of the cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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