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Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.6

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v. 6
Some people think that their food should not contain meat and fish, as such food is bad for their health and detrimental to the universe. While I accept that saying no to meat is beneficial to some extent, in my opinion, it is not a suitable idea because few nutrients, which are essential for humans, are only obtainable from such sources. On the individual level, they claim that meat is poor for their health because it contains hazardous chemicals. Since the digestive system of animals is not efficient enough to eradicate such toxic chemicals from their body properly, its consumption by humans will eventually lead to severe diseases, such as cancer of the digestive system or colon. They also think that constantly using animals, as a source of food, means that those particular species will eventually diminish from the face of the globe. As each animal plays an important role in the stabilization of the whole ecosystem, its disturbance will have severe consequences on the lives of humans too. In spite of the arguments above, my point of view is that fauna and water bodies are useful for Homo sapiens because they are the rich source of beneficial proteins and vitamins which are required for the human body to function properly. For example, research conducted in Oxford university shows that beef and tuna fish are essential for the human body as they contain high value of Vitamin B and C. If these nutrients do not obtain from these sources, functioning of the human body will be affected, particularly of liver and kidney. In conclusion, while some individuals believe that using animals for one’s food is not beneficial for their health and world also, I disagree with this idea because of the above-mentioned reason.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should not contain meat and fish, as such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for their health and detrimental to the universe. While I accept that saying no to meat is beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, in my opinion, it is not a suitable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
few nutrients, which are essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
obtainable from such sources.

On the individual level, they claim that meat is poor for their health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it contains hazardous chemicals. Since the digestive system of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is not efficient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to eradicate such toxic chemicals from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
properly
, its consumption by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
will
eventually
lead to severe diseases, such as cancer of the digestive system or colon. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
constantly
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, as a source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, means that those particular species will
eventually
diminish from the face of the globe. As each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the stabilization of the whole ecosystem, its disturbance will have severe consequences on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
too.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the arguments above, my point of view is that fauna and water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
are useful for Homo sapiens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the rich source of beneficial proteins and vitamins which
are required
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
to function
properly
.
For example
, research conducted in Oxford university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that beef and tuna fish are essential for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
as they contain high value of
The word 'vitamin' is normally not capitalized in the expression "vitamin B"
Vitamin B
and C. If these nutrients do not obtain from these sources, functioning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
,
particularly
of liver and kidney.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not beneficial for their health and world
also
, I disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the above-mentioned reason.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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