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A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.24

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 24
Some person thinks that values such as; honour and kindness become unimportant and One can become famous due to wealth. I disagree with this statement, and in below paragraphs I will explain this with a logical conclusion. There is no doubt, respect towards richer people has increased in a few decades, so, the more income you have, the more respected you will be. However, it does not mean rich people are more valuable. For example, if someone has a lot of money and he does not share with anyone, that will be treated as a selfish and self centred person, that our society does not want. People neither like nor respect them. Take, for instance, celebrities who endeavour for charity get more admiration. For example, Bill gates is not famous, because he has money, in real fact he is renown due to his beneficent endeavour. There are a lot of actor and actress who task for charitable institutions, and use their fame for future support in public. For instance, in my country in India numerous Hollywood heroes work for charity and give donations every year, therefore people like them because of their merciful contribution not because of wealth. In conclusion, I firmly believe that money plays an important role for persons social standing, nut honour and kindness are still validating, in order to win the true love and affection of followers, celebrities would have to show their kindness and generosity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that values such as;
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
and kindness become unimportant and One can become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
due to wealth. I disagree with this statement, and in below paragraphs I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this with a logical conclusion.

There is no doubt, respect towards richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
increased in a few decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the more income you have, the more respected you will be.
However
, it does not mean rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more valuable.
For example
, if someone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
he does not share with anyone, that will
be treated
as a selfish and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self centred
person, that our society does not want.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
neither like nor respect them. Take,
for instance
, celebrities who
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
for charity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more admiration.
For example
,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Bill gates
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he has money, in real fact he is renown due to his beneficent
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
.

There are
Possible agreement error. The noun actor seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of actors".
a lot of actor
and actress who task for charitable institutions, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their fame for future support in public.
For instance
, in my country in India numerous Hollywood heroes work for charity and give donations every year,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their merciful contribution not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of wealth.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that money plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role for persons social standing,
Did you mean "not"?
nut
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
and kindness are
still
validating, in order to win the true
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection of followers, celebrities would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their kindness and generosity.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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