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Write about the following topic: Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent v.1

: Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). 1
Undoubtedly, recently, the phenomenon of studying the facts and its corresponding impact has sparked a heated debate. I fully agree with this fact that although fictions are extremely valuable for individuals, people have to spend their time reading the real ones such as real events, published facts and history of real people. In turn, this essay will discuss the reasons behind this fact. On the one hand, reading real books such as genuine stories and scientific facts can provide the society with some noticeable effects which are rooted in the fact that the merits of improved economics, as well as developed countries, are inextricably bound up. That is to say that humans need to know the facts to use them in their life, thus they are not able to progress intelligently without recognition of facts, which are being destroyed, extremely. For instance, understanding the reasons behind starting the First World Wide affected European countries to decide to be converted to a powerful unit named the European Union. On the other hand, understanding the facts might decrease the consequences of unwanted events. Some people declare that experience is the most valuable asset of people, which is free of charge. Hence, realities must be taken into account in all stages of people’s life. To summarize, some people are of the opinion that fictions must be honoured similar to the facts, while others are opposed to this view. I am sure that understanding the different facts such as novels, published facts and real happenings are much more valuable than fake ones.
Undoubtedly
, recently, the phenomenon of studying the facts and its corresponding impact has sparked a heated debate. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that although fictions are
extremely
valuable for individuals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend their time reading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
ones such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, published facts and history of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In turn, this essay will discuss the reasons behind this fact.

On the one hand, reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
books such as genuine stories and scientific facts can provide the society with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
noticeable effects which
are rooted
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that the merits of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
economics,
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, are
inextricably
bound up.
That is
to say that humans need to know the facts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them in their life,
thus
they are not able to progress
intelligently
without recognition of facts, which are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
,
extremely
.
For instance
, understanding the reasons behind starting the
First
Did you mean "worldwide"?
World Wide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
European countries to decide to
be converted
to a powerful unit named the European Union.

On the other hand
, understanding the facts might decrease the consequences of unwanted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
declare that experience is the most valuable asset of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which is free of charge.
Hence
, realities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
into account in all stages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life.

To summarize
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that fictions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'honoured' is British English.
honoured
similar to the facts, while others
are opposed
to this view. I am sure that understanding the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
facts such as novels, published facts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
happenings are much more valuable than fake ones.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay : Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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