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Some people believe unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children) v. 1
There is a belief by some individuals that serving the community without pay should be a mandatory part of the high school curriculum (for example, carrying out charity works, taking part in enhancing the surrounding where they reside or teaching fitness studies to younger children). In my opinion, I agree to this opinion because it boosts their career profile/opportunity in future and helps to develop their moral background. Including unpaid community work in high school programmes will increase the career opportunities for the students when they grow up. Charity works and voluntary activities heightens their chances of gaining employment later in life. A resume that shows charity work, or activity done to help the community without pay stands out among other resumes with no community service. For example, a documentary carried out by BBC news suggests that in recent times, employers prefer to employ an applicant who has done one form of community service and also has experience in the field in which the vacancy is based on. Thus, engaging in charitable services is an advantage for job seekers. Another reason is that taking part in charity and helping the community without pay assists in developing students morally. Engaging in such activities at that young age, allows them to understand that they are less privileged people in the society who needs their assistance and offering to support them is a commendable behaviour. Furthermore, it is essential for them to understand that they can render some services without being paid. This will make them understand that not all services are rewarded with financial benefits. To illustrate, a survey conducted in Bambi Secondary School Lagos, concluded that students who engaged in community work as part of their curriculum in school appreciates the wealth their parents have because they are aware that some children are out of school because their parents cannot afford to pay their school fees. Overall, community service develops high school students morally. In conclusion, some people are of the opinion that engaging in various forms of charity should be a compulsory aspect in the curriculum of high schools which I strongly agree to. This is because it increases their employability in the employment market and assists in increasing their moral upbringing.
There is a belief by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that serving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
should be a mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum (
for example
, carrying out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
works, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in enhancing the surrounding where they reside or teaching fitness studies to younger children). In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it boosts their career profile/opportunity in future and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to develop their moral background.

Including unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
will increase the career opportunities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when they grow up.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Charity
works and voluntary activities heightens their chances of gaining employment later in life. A resume that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, or activity done to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
stands out among other resumes with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
.
For example
, a documentary carried out by BBC news suggests that in recent times, employers prefer to employ an applicant who has done one form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and
also
has experience in the field in which the vacancy
is based
on.
Thus
, engaging in charitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
is an advantage for job seekers.

Another reason is that taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
and helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
assists in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
morally
. Engaging in such activities at that young age,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to understand that they are less privileged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the society who needs their assistance and offering to support them is a commendable
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Furthermore
, it is essential for them to understand that they can render
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
without
being paid
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand that not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are rewarded
with financial benefits. To illustrate, a survey conducted in Bambi Secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
Lagos, concluded that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who engaged in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of their curriculum in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
appreciates the wealth their parents have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are aware that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children are out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their parents cannot afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
fees.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
develops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
morally
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that engaging in various forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
should be a compulsory aspect in the curriculum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
which I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it increases their employability in the employment market and assists in increasing their moral upbringing.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children) v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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