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Write about the following topic: People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc. ). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? You should give reasons for your answer using your own ideas and experience. v.1

: People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc. ). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? You should v. 1
At present, it is sometimes thought that people attend higher education owing to many different reasons, such as new experiences, increased knowledge, career preparation, etc. In my opinion, I think that people ought to be encouraged to attend universities as it will greatly benefit both individuals and society. A good reason to attend tertiary education is that it will positively teach students how to compete against each other to do better in their future life. To put it another way, the competition between students in universities motivates them to excel in their studies or tasks which, consequently, produces better performance and results. For example, students generally apply themselves and work harder when they are in direct competition with their classmates. These skills are essential later in life. Without these skills, they will no longer be able to secure a job in the job market because of the competitive environment, which can be avoided by attending colleges. Another point to consider is that university education helps students to take their first steps in gaining more expertise and increasing their solving-problem ability. Students in the classroom would be exposed to a variety of issues that they might face in real life, and they will definitely be taught how to solve these problems in a constructive way. For instance, students in the engineering major are driven every semester to do a project about an incident occurred in the field, and they ought to put different scenarios about how they could avoid this incident from happening again. This project will help them in strengthen their problem-solving ability as it is considered as a real practice for the problems in the field. Finally, attending colleges will benefit society in the long run as higher education will lead to an increase in the number of educated people. In other words, having a great resource of knowledgeable and skilled professionals will bring greater rewards to society as a whole. This will result in bringing more economic advantages to a country that wants to be prosperous and leading in various fields. In conclusion, attending colleges or university is a must for anyone who wants to gain more experience and concept of competition. Also, economic advantages will be obtained from people who attend universities as an indirect result.
At present, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
owing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons, such as new experiences, increased knowledge, career preparation, etc. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
as it will
greatly
benefit both individuals and society.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is that it will
positively
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
how to compete against each other to do better in their future life. To put it another way, the competition between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
motivates them to excel in their studies or tasks which,
consequently
, produces better performance and results.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
generally
apply themselves and work harder when they are in direct competition with their classmates. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are essential later in life. Without these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, they will no longer be able to secure a job in the job market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the competitive environment, which can
be avoided
by attending colleges.

Another point to consider is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take their
first
steps in gaining more expertise and increasing their solving-problem ability.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
in the classroom would
be exposed
to a variety of issues that they might face in real life, and they will definitely
be taught
how to solve these problems
Consider replacing "in a constructive way" with the adverb for "constructive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a constructive way
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the engineering major
are driven
every semester to do a project about an incident occurred in the field, and they ought to put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
scenarios about how they could avoid this incident from happening again. This project will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in strengthen their problem-solving ability as it
is considered
as a real practice for the problems in the field.

Finally
, attending colleges will benefit society in the long run as higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will lead to an increase in the number of educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In other words
, having a great resource of knowledgeable and skilled professionals will bring greater rewards to society as a whole. This will result in bringing more economic advantages to a country that wants to be prosperous and leading in various fields.

In conclusion
, attending colleges or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for anyone who wants to gain more experience and concept of competition.
Also
, economic advantages will
be obtained
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
as an indirect result.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay : People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc. ). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? You should v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
379 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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