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People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc. ). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? You should give reasons for your answer using your own ideas and experience. Write at least 250 words. v.2

People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc. ). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? You should v. 2
Education plays an indispensable role in building a successful career in a person. Individuals attend college and universities for several reasons, such as experiences, insight, and career preparation. In my perspective, people study in universities for making bright future ahead. It is certainly true that education is the most powerful weapon which we can change the whole world. The main advantage of attending college is that there are myriad things which students can start learning and enhance their knowledge of the distinctive course. As the pupils do different subjects, this may help to develop their theory skills as well as practical skills and become a strong person in their career, the development of every nation would increase in future around the globe. To illustrate, a recent Cambridge study revealed that universities also furnish job placement for scholars who completed their degree or another course which they can easily fulfill their fundamental needs in their life. So, it may assist in every pupil for making bright future. Nowadays, more and more people attend college to increase their broader horizons of knowledge about innumerable skills which may help people in their future life. Additionally, learners know about how to behave superior to strangers and they may become a punctual, good personality and even responsable person, therefore it would be very beneficial for the enhancement of their nation. For example, even if the universities or colleges provide different foreign language for students, then they can easily learn every language which can lead to a decreased level of the language barrier. To conclude, although it is a decent way to attend universities lectures because the student could become a self-independent in their career life. However, it seems that the government should pay the whole tuition fees for poverty-stricken people which is substantial for their nation as well as society members.
Education plays an indispensable role in building a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in a person. Individuals attend college and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
for several reasons, such as experiences, insight, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
preparation. In my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
for making bright future ahead.

It is
certainly
true that education is the most powerful weapon which we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the whole world. The main advantage of attending college is that there are myriad things which students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning and enhance their knowledge of the distinctive course. As the pupils do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects, this may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop their theory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
as practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and become a strong person in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, the development of every nation would increase in future around the globe. To illustrate, a recent Cambridge study revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
also
furnish job placement for scholars who completed their degree or another course which they can
easily
fulfill their fundamental needs in their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it may assist in every pupil for making bright future.

Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attend college to increase their broader horizons of knowledge about innumerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their future life.
Additionally
, learners know about how to behave superior to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
strangers and
they may become a punctual,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personality and even
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsable
person,
therefore
it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for the enhancement of their nation.
For example
, even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
or colleges provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
foreign language for students, then they can
easily
learn every language which can lead to a decreased level of the language barrier.

To conclude
, although it is a decent way to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
lectures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the student could become a self-independent in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
life.
However
, it seems that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pay the whole tuition fees for poverty-stricken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which is substantial for their nation
as well
as society members.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc. ). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? You should v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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