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Write about the following topic: Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

: Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. v. 2
The debate for free health service is one that comes up every so often, with people arguing the plausibility of any state government maintaining such a system. I for one, am a proponent of free health service, even if it means it might not cover the latest medical treatments. The population of any state is made up of the very rich and the very poor. It is simple economics. Even in states with booming economies and impressive GDPs, there will always be people living below the average means. It is for these people that I argue for free health care. If there is no state-sponsored health service, what hope do these people have? In Nigeria for example, before the government introduced free community health centres in the 90s, the country had an infant mortality rate of 50%. Why? lack of basic healthcare for pregnant women; no birthing theatres, no blood banks, no post-natal care facility. The country was also heading for a population crisis because poor families did not have access to free birth control and family planning clinics. I am a beneficiary of free healthcare. When I was two years old, I fell ill and had to be taken to the hospital for treatment. My parents initially took me to a private clinic near our house. My condition necessitated that I undergo a blood transfusion. The private clinic required payment for this service, and it was an amount my family could not afford. We were then referred to the government clinic two towns away that was offering the service for free. I survived that illness because of the free clinic. Nigeria currently has a single-digit infant mortality rate. Children born to poor families, like me, have a better chance of survival because of the availability of free healthcare services. While I do accept that it is a difficult task to offer all medical treatments free of charge to the entire population, simply because it would be too expensive, I believe that at least basic healthcare for vunerable members of society i. e the infants, and the elderly, should be free in every country of the world.
The debate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is one that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
up every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, with
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people
arguing the plausibility of any state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
maintaining such a system. I for one, am a proponent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, even if it means it might not cover the latest medical treatments.

The population of any state
is made
up of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rich and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor. It is simple economics. Even in states with booming economies and impressive
Possible spelling mistake found.
GDPs
, there will always be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living below the average means. It is for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that I argue for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care. If there is no state-sponsored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, what hope do these
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people
have?

In Nigeria
for example
,
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before
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
introduced
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free
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
in the 90s, the country had an infant mortality rate of 50%. Why?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lack
of basic healthcare for pregnant women; no birthing
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, no blood banks, no post-natal care facility. The country was
also
heading for a population crisis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
did not have access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
birth control and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
planning clinics.

I am a beneficiary of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
healthcare. When I was two years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, I fell ill and had to
be taken
to the hospital for treatment. My parents
initially
took me to a private clinic near our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. My condition necessitated that I undergo a blood transfusion. The private clinic required payment for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, and it was an amount my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
could not afford. We were then referred to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
clinic two towns away that was offering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
. I survived that illness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
clinic.

Nigeria
currently
has a single-digit infant mortality rate. Children born to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, like me, have a better chance of survival
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
healthcare services.

While I do accept that it is a difficult task to offer all medical treatments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of charge to the entire population,
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would be too expensive, I believe that at least basic healthcare for
Possible spelling mistake found.
vunerable
members of society i. e the infants, and the elderly, should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
in every country of the world.
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IELTS essay : Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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