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Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words. v.18

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. v. 18
It is quite obvious that, the free medication service has aroused a lot of people's attention and discussions around it. People have actually differed about it. A group of people claims that, medical treatments are extremely costly, whilst others believe that, it is mandatory for the government to provide individuals with free health care. This essay will deal with both opposes views, in order to reach the most appropriate one. On one hand, some people's thought is that the authorities cannot cover the fees of medical therapy for the following reasons. Firstly, the medicines are costly because of the increment of the prices of raw materials, besides, the medical machines that used in medical operations are expensive and public may utilize that free service awfully. For example, people may visit physicians just because the service is free of charge. Nevertheless, another group holds a totally diverse point of view, which is the Healthcare have to be free and they have their causes. First, the health conditions of the community are the responsibility of the authorities. Moreover, the government has to keep the individuals' well being, to be able to influence positively in the society and help the community to improve its financial condition. For instance, when the public people are well being, they can work for a large number of hours and increase their outcome. To summarize, even though both opinions seem convincing, as each one of them has its own logic rationale. Yet, I strongly agree with the last concept, which states that the government have to subsidize the people to keep healthy, for the previous reasons mentioned before.
It is quite obvious that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
medication service has aroused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's attention and
Did you mean "discussions about"?
discussions around
it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have actually differed about it. A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claims that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatments are
extremely
costly, whilst others believe that, it is mandatory for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to provide individuals with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
health care. This essay will deal with both opposes views, in order to reach the most appropriate one.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is that the authorities cannot cover the fees of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
therapy for the following reasons.
Firstly
, the medicines are costly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increment of the prices of raw materials,
besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
machines that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
operations are expensive and public may utilize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
service awfully.

For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may visit physicians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the service is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of charge.

Nevertheless
, another group holds a
totally
diverse point of view, which is the Healthcare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
free and
they have their causes.
First
, the health conditions of the community are the responsibility of the authorities.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the individuals'
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
, to be able to influence
positively
in the society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the community to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
its financial condition.
For instance
, when the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
, they can work for
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
hours and increase their outcome.

To summarize
,
even though
both opinions seem convincing, as each one of them has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
logic rationale.
Yet
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the last concept, which states that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
subsidize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
healthy, for the previous reasons mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. v. 18

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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