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Write about the following topic: Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or exp v.1

: Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? 1
It is a fact that reading has enormous importance in a child’s learning journey. While some people believe online reading materials is the only thing be used for a child to learn how to read, others argue that only printed material should be used. In this essay I will talk about the advantages and disadvantages of this topic and give my reasons why I believe both materials should use. Firstly, with the rise of technology, everything is having an alternative on the internet and usually there are more varieties than printed ones. Because of the accessibility of the online materials children may have too many options which will make the learning process enjoyable and fun. Moreover, online reading materials might have their own audio tracks and children can listen to this without needing their parents or teachers. As a result, the learning process is will be faster for the child. Furthermore, day to day printed materials are losing their popularity with new generations and it can be a good way for keeping up with it. On the other hand, aforesaid the accessibility of the online materials, the most significant problem about this is, not all the children or families have access to the internet, even the technological devices unreachable in many circumstances. Although money is needed for the technological devices, printed materials are cheaper and easier to obtain. To illustrate, even in the countries with strong economies, there can be a family who can’t afford these materials. Furthermore, screen time might be more harmful for eyes than printed materials, if it’s used for long hours. In conclusion, despite the online reading materials’ is advantaged, I think it is unfair to expect everyone to have enough technology. Because of this, education should not only rely on online materials, but also include printed ones.
It is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
has enormous importance in a child’s learning journey. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for a child to learn how to read, others argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. In this essay I will talk about the advantages and disadvantages of this topic and give my reasons why I believe both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

Firstly
, with the rise of technology, everything is having an alternative on the internet and
usually
there are more varieties than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the accessibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
children may have too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the learning process enjoyable and fun.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
might have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
audio
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
and children can listen to this without needing their parents or teachers.
As a result
, the learning process is will be faster for the child.
Furthermore
, day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are losing their popularity with new generations and it can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for keeping up with it.

On the other hand
, aforesaid the accessibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
, the most significant problem about this is, not all the children or families have access to the internet, even the technological devices unreachable in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
circumstances. Although money
is needed
for the technological devices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are cheaper and easier to obtain. To illustrate, even in the countries with strong economies, there can be a family who can’t afford these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
.
Furthermore
, screen time might be more harmful for eyes than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
, if it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for long hours.

In conclusion
, despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials’
is advantaged
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is unfair to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
everyone to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
technology.
Because of this
, education should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay : Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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