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Some college students choose to take courses in a variety of subject areas in orderto get a broad education. Others choose to focus on a single subject area in order tohave a deeper understanding of that area. Which approach to course selection doyou thin v.1

Some college students choose to take courses in a variety of subject areas in orderto get a broad education. Others choose to focus on a single subject area in order tohave a deeper understanding of that area. Which approach to course selection doyou thin v. 1
It is considered by some people that spending pay on building new railroads is a good idea while there are others who insist that it is better to use it for current public transport. In my opinion, I believe that money is essential for mending public transit because of the reasonable ticket and construction fee. To start with, it is possible to argue that a large amount of earnings should be spent on the installation of high-speed railway. Firstly, travelling by train is absolutely faster than public transport because it helps workers living far from their workplace commute easily. Take an example, it takes around one hour and a half to go from downtown of Hanoi to Vinh Phuc city by bus whereas just 30 minutes by train with the same distance. Besides, this rail transport system can enhance the development of cities. Not only do humans travel faster, but also goods will be shipped quickly. On the other hand, the idea that money is vital for public travel is supported by a lot of people due to a number of positive effects. It is obvious that commuting by public means is affordable, so all classes can access and use this type of transit. For instance, labourers with low earnings could not afford to commute by trains every day from the ticket is quite costly while they have to spend salary on a range of costs in their lives. Another point is that the government needs large sums of salary to construct the train network. In other words, these kinds of projects have a history of costing far more than their original budgets. On the contrary, improving existing transportation for the public does not require too much financial resources. Therefore, the government can use the funds for a lot of other purposes like medicine and education. In conclusion, although it is true that there are various benefits when wealth is used for building rail systems, I think the government should spend this fund on current public travel.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that spending pay on building new railroads is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
while there are others who insist that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport. In my opinion, I believe that money is essential for mending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the reasonable ticket and construction fee.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, it is possible to argue that a large amount of earnings should
be spent
on the installation of high-speed railway.
Firstly
, travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
is
absolutely
faster than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
workers living far from their workplace commute
easily
. Take an example, it takes around one hour and a half to go from downtown of Hanoi to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phuc
city by bus whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
30 minutes by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
with the same distance.
Besides
, this rail transport system can enhance the development of cities. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do humans travel faster,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
will
be shipped
quickly
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that money is vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
travel
is supported
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
due to a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects. It is obvious that commuting by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
means is affordable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
all classes can access and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this type of transit.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourers
with low earnings could not afford to commute by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
every day from the ticket is quite costly while they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend salary on a range of costs in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Another point is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs large sums of salary to construct the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
network. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, these kinds of projects have a history of costing far more than their original budgets.
On the contrary
, improving existing transportation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
does not require too much financial resources.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the funds for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
purposes like medicine and education.

In conclusion
, although it is true that there are various benefits when wealth is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for building rail systems, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend this fund on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
travel.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some college students choose to take courses in a variety of subject areas in orderto get a broad education. Others choose to focus on a single subject area in order tohave a deeper understanding of that area. Which approach to course selection doyou thin v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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