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Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.3

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v. 3
Crime is an issue of increasing concern around the world, and more money than ever before is being spent on the detection and punishment of criminal activity. The reasons why people commit crime are countless, but drugs and alcohol, social problems and poverty play a major role. To solve these problems, governments can either focus on draconian punishments, or improve employment opportunities, invest in good housing projects and tackle drug and alcohol abuse. One of the main causes of criminality is the use, sale and trafficking of narcotics. For example, the sale of drugs is organised by armed criminal gangs who illegally traffic drugs and control their business with extreme violence. Drug-related crime does not end there; drug users often steal to fund theft habit, resulting in further acts of petty crime. The social problems connected with crime are said to be the result of single-parent families, absent role models and bad living conditions. The children from these broken families often become criminals because they feel alienated from society. Poverty is also a reason behind the crime. When unskilled jobs pay so little and prices are so high, it's easy to see why some turn to crime for an income. Crime can, of course, be dealt with by toughening criminal laws and introducing longer custodial sentences for persistent criminals, but some of the best ways to deal with crimes may be to deal with the social causes. Increasing employment opportunities in poorer areas would improve living standards, which would mean access to affordable housing and education. Government funding for drug and alcohol rehabilitation programmes would help reduce dependency on stimulants and the need for the criminal activity that surrounds them. In conclusion, crime is a major issue, but cracking down on offenders with a harsh penal system is not the only way. These problems can be solved through the government providing jobs and funding, which should raise living standards and dramatically reduce crime levels.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
is an issue of increasing concern around the world, and more money than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
is
being spent
on the detection and punishment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activity. The reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are countless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
and alcohol, social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and poverty play a major role. To solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can either focus on
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some adjectives that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Draconian".
draconian
punishments, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
employment opportunities, invest in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
housing projects and tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
and alcohol abuse.

One of the main causes of criminality is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, sale and trafficking of narcotics.
For example
, the sale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
by armed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
gangs who
illegally
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
and control their business with extreme violence. Drug-related
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crime
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
there;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
users
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
steal to fund theft habit, resulting in
further
acts of petty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. The social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
connected with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are said
to be the result of single-parent families, absent role models and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
living conditions. The children from these broken families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel alienated from society. Poverty is
also
a reason behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. When unskilled jobs pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
and prices are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high, it's easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
turn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
for an income.

Crime can,
of course
,
be dealt
with by toughening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
laws and introducing longer custodial sentences for persistent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the best ways to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
may be to deal with the social causes. Increasing employment opportunities in poorer areas would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
living standards, which would mean access to affordable housing and education.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
funding for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
and alcohol rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
dependency on stimulants and the need for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activity that surrounds them.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is a major issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cracking down on offenders with a harsh penal system is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can
be solved
through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
providing jobs and funding, which should raise living standards and
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
levels.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS essay Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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