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The chart below shows three different crimes and the number of cases committed between 1970 and 2005 in England and Wales. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The chart below shows three different crimes and the number of cases committed between 1970 and 2005 in England and Wales.
Some say that the environment can be improved only by governments and large enterprises and that individuals are useless for this purpose. I agree that the government and large enterprises play a key role to make the environment better than it is now. Large companies have financially strong power to invest their money to help make the environment cleaner. To reduce the emission of pollutants, which are generated during manufacturing various products, a large amount of investment is required to install equipment to remove these pollutants. Further, environmentally friendly raw products, such as trees, generally cost more than raw materials which are cheaper that trees but generally produce more pollutants than trees do. Therefore, large companies can improve the environment by investing more of their money to reduce the emission of pollutants. Governments can contribute to the improvement of the environment by changing laws so that people can live in society in a cleaner and more environmentally friendly way. For example, the government can direct people by law to the use of public transportation rather than their own personal car. By doing so, the emission of noxious gases from cars can be reduced, and then the quality of the atmosphere can get better. Governments also are able to ban dumping sewage from factories in rivers or the ocean by law. Such legislative measures to make the quality of air and water cleaner can be implemented only by governments, not by individual. In conclusion, I believe that governments and large companies can improve the environment by using the ways which are impossible for individuals to implement by anyhow.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
enterprises and that individuals are useless for this purpose. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
enterprises play a key role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
better than it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have
financially
strong power to invest their money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
cleaner. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the emission of pollutants, which
are generated
during manufacturing various products, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
amount of investment
is required
to install equipment to remove these pollutants.
Further
,
environmentally
friendly raw products, such as trees,
generally
cost more than raw materials which are cheaper that trees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
generally
produce more pollutants than trees do.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
by investing more of their money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the emission of pollutants.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
can contribute to the improvement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
by changing laws
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in society in a cleaner and more
environmentally
friendly way.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can direct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by law to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of public transportation
rather
than their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal car. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the emission of noxious gases from cars can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, and then the quality of the atmosphere can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
also
are able to ban dumping sewage from factories in rivers or the ocean by law. Such legislative measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the quality of air and water cleaner can
be implemented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
, not by individual.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
by using the ways which are impossible for individuals to implement by anyhow.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay The chart below shows three different crimes and the number of cases committed between 1970 and 2005 in England and Wales.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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