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some people think that child's success in adult life depends on the way their parents brought them up. do you agree or disagree. v.1

some people think that child's success in adult life depends on the way their parents brought them up. v. 1
Specific individuals think the country's people in charge of authority is spending an excessive amount of fund on discovering extraterrestrial life form in outer space, while they should devote the fund to solve issues faced by the public. In this essay, I will elaborate to what extent I agree or disagree. There is no doubt that the government has been spending plenty of a load of money on science projects, while there is numerous problem faced by the citizens of a particular nation. For example, the poverty rate has been boosted up dramatically over the past decade, and there are not sufficient fund invested in the development of the country, like roads, hospital, school and home for the needy families. Also, research conducted by the World health organisation indicates that an average of 60 children dies from lack of medical care for various diseases. Nonetheless, it is also essential for the government to finance the space organisation to discover life in the neighbouring planets because the world is facing significant threats like global warming, greenhouse effect and natural disasters, so it is essential to find out if life can survive on other planets, moreover, when a crisis is nearing, we can send people to Mars for the survival of the human race. Also, research conducted by Stanford University shows that the population is increasing at a faster pace, so if this last, in over a decade, the people population will double the amount of presents. To conclude, I think the government should invest more into the problem faced by the people of a nation. However, they should not stop spending on space discovery, but decrease the amount of money spent
Specific individuals
think
the country's
people
in charge of authority is spending an excessive amount of fund on discovering extraterrestrial life form in outer space, while they should devote the fund to solve issues faced by the public. In this essay, I will elaborate to what extent I
agree
or disagree.

There is no doubt that the
government
has been spending
plenty
of a load of money on science projects, while there is numerous problem faced by the citizens of a particular nation.
For example
, the poverty rate has
been boosted
up
dramatically
over the past decade, and there are not sufficient fund invested in the development of the country, like roads, hospital, school and home for the needy families.
Also
, research conducted by the World health
organisation
indicates that an average of 60 children
dies
from lack of medical care for various diseases.

Nonetheless, it is
also
essential for the
government
to finance the space
organisation
to discover life in the
neighbouring
planets
because
the world is facing significant threats like global warming, greenhouse effect and natural disasters,
so
it is essential to find out if life can survive on other planets,
moreover
, when a crisis is nearing, we can
send
people
to Mars for the survival of the human race.
Also
, research conducted by Stanford University
shows
that the population is increasing at a faster pace,
so
if this last, in over a decade, the
people
population will double the amount of presents.

To conclude
, I
think
the
government
should invest more into the problem faced by the
people
of a nation.
However
, they should not
stop
spending on space discovery,
but
decrease the amount of money spent
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that child's success in adult life depends on the way their parents brought them up. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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