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Write about the following topic. Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? v.35

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. v. 35
The daily use of a computer by growing children have been argued to have more adverse effects than positive ones. This essay disagrees with this notion. Exposing children at an early age to the use of computers gives them the opportunity to start experimenting and horne valuable skills at an early age. Computers also keep them busy and keeps them away from social vices. The earlier a child learns to be comfortable with experimenting, the better for him. Computers make it possible for children to be comfortable with experimenting at an early age. For instance, in-built softwares on computers like Microsoft paint can make them pick up skills like digital drawing and painting; a basic notepad can also help them start web page design or experiment with software development from their tender ages. In addition, experimenting with the hardware components of the computer and trying to troubleshoot when the computer doesn’t work gives children a good opportunity to experiment. Improvements in the computer software industry have made it possible to have the software version of almost every activity one can think of. This is a positive development because a computer, when used for the right things would keep a child busy and away from social vices. For example, digital games, when played in moderation and supervision have been known to keep children engaged for hours. This reduces the chances of the children been lured into street gangs and other forms of vices. To conclude, although people might argue that the positive effects of computers are less, I strongly believe that when used under supervision and in moderation, exposing a child daily to a computer system can help them develop intellectually by experimenting from the comfort of their rooms. It also keeps them busy and away from negative habits that could be cultivated at an early age.
The daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of a computer by growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
been argued
to have more adverse effects than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ones. This essay disagrees with this notion. Exposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers gives them the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experimenting
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
horne
valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. Computers
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
them busy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keeps
them away from social vices.

The earlier a child learns to be comfortable with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experimenting
, the better for him. Computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be comfortable with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experimenting
at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
For instance
, in-built
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares on
computers like Microsoft paint can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them pick up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like digital drawing and painting; a basic notepad can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
web page design or experiment with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
development from their tender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experimenting
with the hardware components of the computer and trying to troubleshoot when the computer doesn’t work gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to experiment.

Improvements in the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
industry have made it possible to have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
version of almost every activity one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a computer, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the right things would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
a child busy and away from social vices.
For example
, digital games, when played in moderation and supervision have
been known
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
engaged for hours. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the chances of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
been lured
into street gangs and other forms of vices.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might argue that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of computers are less, I
strongly
believe that when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
under supervision and in moderation, exposing a child daily to a computer system can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them develop
intellectually
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experimenting
from the comfort of their rooms. It
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keeps
them busy and away from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
habits that could
be cultivated
at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. v. 35

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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