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Write an essay (150 - 300 words) about this topic: Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Write an essay (150 - 300 words) about this topic: Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. v. 1
In these days, there is no denying that computer is one of the all-time greatest inventions of human being. However, I firmly believe that computers have a tendency to bring more harm than good if children use them daily. First of all, overusing computers, the youngster could be segregated from other people around them. It is simply because once they waste most of their time utilizing computers, they would not have much contact with their parents or friends. A child who is a computer addict, for example, tends to refuse to play with other kids as well as to engage in outdoor activities in order to could devote hours to watch cartoons in front of the laptop, which is often not recommended for young children since they need to be active and to acquire new knowledge in the real world from their families and friends to broaden their horizons. Secondly, due to young age, children might absorb harmful information in the computer which has negative impacts on their awareness and behaviours. In fact, the youth are said to be likely to mimic the actors’ actions in games and films. Consequently, should children have access to a great deal of violent games or horror films, they can lose faith in their lives and may execute illegal actions in the future such as commit murder, become robbery, and so on. In conclusion, I am totally in agreement with the idea that using computers daily will put an array of negative impacts on children. However, they could still take advantages of this wonderful invention if they use it suitably and effectively. Therefore, parents should teach their kids to be self-disciplined and to manage their time well when using computers.
In these days, there is no denying that computer is one of the all-time greatest inventions of human being.
However
, I
firmly
believe that computers have a tendency to bring more harm than
good
if
children
use
them daily.

First of all
, overusing computers, the youngster could
be segregated
from other
people
around them. It is
simply
because
once they waste most of their time utilizing computers, they would not have much contact with their parents or friends. A child who is a computer addict,
for example
, tends to refuse to play with other kids
as well
as to engage in outdoor activities in order to could devote hours to
watch
cartoons in front of the laptop, which is
often
not recommended for young
children
since they need to be active and to acquire new knowledge in the real world from their families and friends to broaden their horizons.

Secondly
, due to young age,
children
might absorb harmful information
in the computer
which has
negative
impacts on their awareness and
behaviours
. In fact, the youth
are said
to be likely to mimic the actors’ actions in games and films.
Consequently
, should
children
have access to a great deal of violent games or horror films, they can lose faith in their
lives
and may execute illegal actions in the future such as commit murder, become robbery, and
so
on.

In conclusion
, I am
totally
in agreement with the
idea
that using computers daily will put an array of
negative
impacts on
children
.
However
, they could
still
take advantages of this wonderful invention if they
use
it
suitably
and
effectively
.
Therefore
, parents should teach their kids to be self-disciplined and to manage their time well when using computers.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Write an essay (150 - 300 words) about this topic: Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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