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Write about the following topic. It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work v.29

It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. 29
It is extremely important to have a right balance between our work life and leisure activities. Although there may be few people around us who give extreme priority to their office work, I feel that we can have a meaningful and satisfied life only if we are able to maintain a healthy balance in our activities. First, proper rest and leisure activities such as relaxing on weekends are essential in anyone' s life. It helps us to rejuvenate and get ready for another work day, and also make our day extremely productive. Because of lack of balance between work and other activities, we are likely to feel bored and sleepy at work. The muscle fatigue that slowly creeps in also rediuces our productivity. For example, pilots are constantly monitored by airline companies and are even advised to rest so that they can perform to the best of their abilities. Second, our personal health, family, friends and people around us are equally important much like our work. It is important that we need to socialise and get strenth and inspiration from other' s success and it is important that we share ideas with people from different walk of life. Therefore, we need to have sufficient time to be around people who matter us most. That helps to forge a long lasting bond. in conclusion, peoper balance between work and family life is a key to performing well in our employment. Without work life balance, our life is likely to get affected which can have multiple repurcussions at our health and overall performance.
It is
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to have a right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and leisure activities. Although there may be few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us who give extreme priority to their office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, I feel that we can have a meaningful and satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if we are able to maintain a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
in our activities.

First
, proper rest and leisure activities such as relaxing on weekends are essential in
Possible spelling mistake found.
anyone&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to rejuvenate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
day, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our day
extremely
productive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and other activities, we are likely to feel bored and sleepy at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. The muscle fatigue that
slowly
creeps in
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
rediuces
our productivity.
For example
, pilots are
constantly
monitored by airline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and are even advised to rest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can perform to the best of their abilities.

Second, our personal health, family, friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
much like our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
that we need to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
strenth
and inspiration from
Possible spelling mistake found.
other&
#039; s success and it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
that we share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
walk of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
, we need to have sufficient time to be around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who matter us most. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to forge a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
bond.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion,
Possible spelling mistake found.
peoper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is a key to performing well in our employment. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
which can have multiple
Possible spelling mistake found.
repurcussions
at our health and
overall
performance.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. 29

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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