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It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. v. 2
A strong perception about successful people about their dedication towards work and not bothering about personal front has been noted widely. Among both lives, if one gets neglected, the other is bound to be affected as well. This essay will talk in favour of this argument and will present the opinion at the end. Maintaining a balance between work and other areas of life is the key to happy well being. It directly affects your close ones. While slogging away in your profession makes you successful on the career front, it will probably make you lose your loved one's. In order to be successsful, you somewhere or other requires support from family and friends. You cannot do everything on your own and would certainly require their hands to support you while you work towards professional strides. Working towards work-life balance will build the foundation of healthy and happy relationship. For instance, because of imbalance in one's life between personal and professional area, divorce rates are high. In addition to this, if one is not serious in their job, they would not be able to grow professionally. Personal sacrifices are necessary at some point of time to carve the successful path. This will further help in paving the way for future achievements. For example, if one leaves the office early, comes to the office late and keeps a backlog of their work because they have commitments towards their home life, it is definitely not the good sign of professionalism. To conclude, in my opinion, maintaining a work-life balance is of utmost importance as by doing this only one would feel the taste of success and gain love from their loved ones.
A strong perception about successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about their dedication towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and not bothering about personal front has
been noted
widely
. Among both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, if one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
neglected,

the other
is bound
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
as well
. This essay will talk in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this argument and will present the opinion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

Maintaining a balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and other areas of life is the key to happy
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
. It
directly
affects your close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. While slogging away in your profession
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you successful on the career front, it will
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you lose your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one's. In order to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
successsful
, you somewhere or other requires support from family and friends. You cannot do everything on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and would
certainly
require their hands to support you while you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
towards professional strides. Working towards work-life balance will build the foundation of healthy and happy relationship.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of imbalance in one's life between personal and professional area, divorce rates are high.

In addition
to this, if one is not serious in their job, they would not be able to grow
professionally
. Personal sacrifices are necessary at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point of time to carve the successful path. This will
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in paving the way for future achievements.
For example
, if one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
the office early,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the office late and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
a backlog of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have commitments towards their home life, it is definitely not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of professionalism.

To conclude
, in my opinion, maintaining a work-life balance is of utmost importance as by doing this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one would feel the taste of success and gain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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