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It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. v.5

It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. v. 5
Many great people had dedicated their entire life completely to the work that they started, without considering the option to have a good work-life balance. This had resulted in their work making a big influence on the world. In this essay, we will look at the details and why we should strive to have a good work-life balance. Completely focussing just on work and only work, makes progress faster and encourages to pursue more challenging jobs. Because Individuals spend all of their available time on work, They completed the project in a short time. For example, during my college days, When I had spent close to 16 hours daily on my final project, I finished the project in 10 days instead of a month. Since they are accustomed to spending the entire life on work, it makes then accept more challenging to continue the same lifestyle. In the biography of Steve jobs, He says he spends 18 hours a day working which continues to push him further to achieve new heights in his career. However, work-life balance is very critical for an individual's health, and to maintain a healthy relationship. As spending time doing regular exercise or playing sports regularly improves ones physical and mental health. For instance, a recent study by a leading magazine in Canada says having a healthy work-life balance improves cardiovascular health and ability to handle stress by 24%. Time spend in bonding and establishing trust and love is very less and thereby getting isolated from the loved ones and family. For example, When I regularly miss my children’s birthday, It had high impact on them and loosing trust and expectation on me. In conclusion, Maintaining a work-life balance is very important to having a healthy life and establishing a good relationship. In few countries there are strict laws governing the working hours and extra working hours.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had dedicated their entire life completely to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
, without considering the option to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
. This had resulted in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
making a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
influence on the world. In this essay, we will look at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and why we should strive to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work-life balance.

Completely focussing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
progress faster and encourages
Did you mean "pursuing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to pursue
more challenging jobs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
Individuals spend all of their available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, They completed the project in a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
, during my college days, When I had spent close to 16
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
daily on my final project, I finished the project in 10 days
instead
of a month. Since they
are accustomed
to spending the entire life on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
then accept more challenging to continue the same lifestyle. In the biography of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Steve jobs
, He says he spends 18
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day working which continues to push him
further
to achieve new heights in his career.

However
, work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
critical for an individual's health, and to maintain a healthy relationship. As spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing regular exercise or playing sports
regularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
physical and mental health.
For instance
, a recent study by a leading magazine in Canada says having a healthy work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
cardiovascular health and ability to handle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
by 24%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
spend in bonding and establishing trust and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less and thereby getting isolated from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
and family.
For example
, When I
regularly
miss my children’s birthday, It had high impact on them and loosing trust and expectation on me.

In conclusion
, Maintaining a work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to having a healthy life and establishing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship. In few countries there are strict laws governing the working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and extra working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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