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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. The threat of nuclear weapons maintains the world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far out-weight the disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree? You should v.59

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains the world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far out-weight the disadvantages. You should v. 59
Many people seem to argue that maintenance of peace in our planet is possible through invention and development of nuclear weapons. Others argue that production of energy from nuclear materials can guarantee inexpensive and pollution free energy. However, I can not bring to agree with such propositions as in my opinion, the disadvantages and threats of having nuclear technology simply outnumber its advantages. First of all, it is a kind of a paradox to say that weapons can maintain peace. If there are nuclear weapons or for that matter any weapons, then, they will be used against another country or civilians. Our history can provide many such examples that use of weapons tend to escalate war, disturb peace and invite unnecessary conflict. Therefore, having nuclear weapons and missiles is sure to bring more catastrophe in our world. For example, when a country has modern nuclear weapons, then, another country with different ideology may get threatened. The consequence of it would be that nation-states resort to arms race and the world becomes less peaceful place to inhabit. Moving further to another argument, there are multiple dangers from nuclear power. It is worthwhile to keep in mind that we need not search for alternative sources of clean energy when we have already developed clean energy such as solar energy, wind energy and electricity from water, i. e. hydroelectricity. The power plants which use nuclear products are extremely difficult to maintain because of the threat it possesses to people in the vicinity, and to the environment. For instance, nuclear power plants turned out to be hazards during the earthquakes in Japan and many people are still suffering from radioactive waves. To sum up, using nuclear weapons and energy are bound to create many problems and threats to humanity. It would be wise to stay away from them, and focus on effective use of traditional clean energy sources.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
seem to argue that maintenance of peace in our planet is possible through invention and development of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
. Others argue that production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
from nuclear materials can guarantee inexpensive and pollution free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
.
However
, I can not bring to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with such propositions as in my opinion, the disadvantages and threats of having nuclear technology
simply
outnumber its advantages.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is a
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of a
paradox to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
can maintain peace. If there are nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
or for that matter any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
, then, they will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
against another country or civilians. Our history can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
such examples that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
tend to escalate war, disturb peace and invite unnecessary conflict.
Therefore
, having nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
and missiles is sure to bring more catastrophe in our world.
For example
, when a country has modern nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
, then, another country with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ideology may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
threatened. The consequence of it would be that nation-states resort to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "arm".
arms
race and the world becomes less peaceful place to inhabit.

Moving
further
to another argument, there are multiple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
from nuclear power. It is worthwhile to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind that we need not search for alternative sources of clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
when we have already developed clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
such as solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and electricity from water,
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
hydroelectricity. The power plants which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
nuclear products are
extremely
difficult to maintain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the threat it possesses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the vicinity, and to the environment.
For instance
, nuclear power plants turned out to be hazards during the earthquakes in Japan and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
still
suffering from radioactive waves.

To sum up, using nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
are bound
to create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems and threats to humanity. It would be wise to stay away from them, and focus on effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of traditional clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
sources.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The threat of nuclear weapons maintains the world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far out-weight the disadvantages. You should v. 59

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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