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It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. v.1

It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. v. 1
A good balance between life and career is very paramount to a healthy life. Most influential people are so caught up in trying to make a difference that they forget to actually live. I believe that people should strongly strive to achieve a healthy work-life balance and the reasons for my opinion will be discussed in the following paragraphs. To start with, it is important to maintain a good balance between work and life to avoid depression. Working continuously without any time to stop and relax can cause depression. This is because work can isolate an individual from family and friends, and as much as work is important, it is essential that people learn to relax and mingle with other people in order to de-stress themselves of the pressure of work. For example, the Department of Psychology at the University of Ibadan reported that 90 % of patients who were diagnosed of depression at the Psychatric unit of the University Teaching Hospital in 2017 were top level officials in their various fields. This report suggests that workaholics are prone to depression, and emphasizes the need for individuals to take the issue of work-life balance seriously. Another reason why a healthy work-life balance is important is that working too much has been linked to health issues. People who fail to find a way of balancing their career with health-promoting activities are prone to different diseases and disorders. For instance, a friend who works in the Operation unit of a bank has just been diagnosed with arthritis which usually occurs as a result of sitting still for a long period of time. The doctor established that the condition was due to her work and lifestyle. This could have been prevented if she had tried to engage in fitness activities after work instead of just going home to return the following day for another cycle of work. In addition, a poor work-life balance can lead to family issues, particularly for married individuals. Too much work can take married career individuals away from their families. Having a life outside work means they can spend quality time with their family and this would strengthen the bond in marriage. There are reports that most high achieving individuals often fail in their marriages, and this trend has been linked to the total commitment they exhibit towards their career. In conclusion, it is very important that people consciously strive to achieve a very good balance between work and life in order to prevent depression, promote healthy living, and strenghten family bond.
A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and career is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
paramount to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Most influential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
caught up in trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference that they forget to actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
strongly
strive to achieve a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
and the reasons for my opinion will
be discussed
in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to avoid depression. Working
continuously
without any time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
and relax can cause depression. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can isolate an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends, and as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
, it is essential that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn to relax and mingle with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order to de-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
themselves of the pressure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For example
, the Department of Psychology at the University of Ibadan reported that 90 % of patients who
were diagnosed
of depression at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Psychatric
unit of the University Teaching Hospital in 2017 were
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
officials in their various fields. This report suggests that workaholics are prone to depression, and emphasizes the need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to take the issue of work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
seriously
.

Another reason why a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
is that working too much has
been linked
to health issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who fail to find a way of balancing their career with health-promoting activities are prone to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseases and disorders.
For instance
, a friend who works in the Operation unit of a bank has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
been diagnosed
with arthritis which
usually
occurs
as a result
of sitting
still
for a long period of time. The doctor established that the condition was due to her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and lifestyle. This could have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
if she had tried to engage in fitness activities after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
going home to return the following day for another cycle of work.

In addition
, a poor work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
can lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
issues,
particularly
for married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. Too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can take married career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
means they can spend quality time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and this would strengthen the bond in marriage. There are reports that most high achieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
fail in their marriages, and this trend has
been linked
to the total commitment they exhibit towards their career.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consciously
strive to achieve a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
depression, promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
living, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
strenghten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bond.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
423 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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