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Write about the following topic. The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should v.17

The internet has greatly increased our access to information. You should v. 17
Due to countries' development, human have different perspectives with whether to keep ancient constructions or rebuilding modern skyscrapers. However, while many people consider that its should be kept for educational purpose or travel landmarks, I personally believe that governments ought to demolish them instead of building high-rise apartments. Firstly, the main purpose to protect ancient heritage is that its still retain the possession of values for human history, which can be accessed to educate member of public. For instance, in western countries, some museums and castles have been almost renovated the inside of constructions and then exhibit some ancient tools, remarkable paintings or vivid sculptures adding descriptions in order to let children or tourists to comprehend historical stories and content or appreciate the beauty of the art. On the one hand, if governments organize these public heritage properly, it can attract the number of foreign tourists to visit countries and doing so can help them to understand clearly about countries' culture. On the other hand, even though old constructions have their values, there is no doubt that if too many derelict buildings still keep in cities, it is hard to have many different positive impacts on countries' development and this cannot tackle the issue of overpopulation. For an example of an high populating area, governments should let construction firms have planning permission to run-down most of slums replacing them by high- rise apartment. This is because doing so is likely to help residents to live comfortably and supports homeless to have rooms to stay. In addition, it can reduce some risks because of unstable structures that people who live in time- honoured buildings suffer from natural disasters, such as earthquakes. In conclusion, although for some historical buildings, its still have existed meanings, the concern of countries' progression and overpopulation issues, governments should take into account reorganizing those out- of-date buildings. Therefore, on balance, I believe we should build up many high- rise apartments instead of reminding historical buildings.
Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries'
development, human have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives with whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
or rebuilding modern skyscrapers.
However
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that its should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
for educational purpose or travel landmarks, I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
ought to demolish them
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
high-rise apartments.

Firstly
, the main purpose to protect ancient heritage is that its
still
retain the possession of values for human history, which can
be accessed
to educate member of public.
For instance
, in western countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
museums and castles have been almost renovated the inside of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
and then exhibit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ancient tools, remarkable paintings or vivid sculptures adding descriptions in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
children or tourists to comprehend historical stories and content or appreciate the beauty of the art. On the one hand, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
organize these public heritage
properly
, it can attract the number of foreign tourists to visit countries and doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to understand
clearly
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries'
culture.

On the other hand
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
have their values, there is no doubt that if too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
derelict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in cities, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries'
development and this cannot tackle the issue of overpopulation. For an example of
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
high populating area,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
firms have planning permission to run-down
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the slums") or simply say "most slums".
most of slums
replacing them by high- rise apartment. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
residents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
comfortably
and supports homeless to have rooms to stay.
In addition
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unstable structures that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in time-
Possible spelling mistake. 'honoured' is British English.
honoured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
suffer from natural disasters, such as earthquakes.

In conclusion
, although for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, its
still
have existed meanings, the concern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries'
progression and overpopulation issues,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should take into account reorganizing those out- of-date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
Therefore
, on balance, I believe we should build up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
high- rise apartments
instead
of reminding historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay The internet has greatly increased our access to information. You should v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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