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Write about the following topic. The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.12

The internet has greatly increased our access to information. v. 12
In today's world data is highly valuable, with the internet people across the globe are able to get any information in fractions of second. This is undoubtedly an advantage for mankind as the internet is not only enhancing learning experiences, but also it is providing a wide scope for the technological developments. The major benefit of access to information is that it enables individuals to learn things without relying on others. When compared to the past, children at schools or employees at corporate companies are able to do research work on their own, unlike before when teacher and staff training was the only way to gain knowledge. Schools, for instance, are opting for a 70-30 study strategy which means students must do 70% of research and 30% of guidance is provided from their teacher. Clearly, people are depending less on traditional ways of acquiring knowledge by performing research themselves. Another positive effect online information assures is technological advancement. To elaborate, with abundant resources that are available online, it is possible to conduct an extensive research which leads to better inventions and discoveries. Moores Law states that every year the technological growth would be 1. 5% more than the past year. Thus, this fact is proved by the evidence in today's world, for people have even created humanoids. In conclusion, huge amounts of resources on the internet are changing the way people learn or create new things. Since the world is making a positive progress, I believe, this practice should be continued.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world data is
highly
valuable, with the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across the globe are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any information in fractions of second. This is
undoubtedly
an advantage for mankind as the internet is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enhancing learning experiences,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is providing a wide scope for the technological developments.

The major benefit of access to information is that it enables individuals to learn things without relying on others. When compared to the past, children at schools or employees at corporate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are able to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
work on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, unlike
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
when teacher and staff training was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to gain knowledge. Schools,
for instance
, are opting for a 70-30 study strategy which means students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and 30% of guidance
is provided
from their teacher.
Clearly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
less on traditional ways of acquiring knowledge by performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
themselves.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect online information assures is technological advancement. To elaborate, with abundant resources that are available online, it is possible to conduct an extensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
which leads to better inventions and discoveries.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Moores
Law states that every year the technological growth would be 1. 5% more than the past year.
Thus
, this fact
is proved
by the evidence in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have even created humanoids.

In conclusion
, huge amounts of resources on the internet are changing the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn or create new things. Since the world is making a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
progress, I believe, this practice should
be continued
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay The internet has greatly increased our access to information. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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