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Write about the following topic The internet has greatly increased our access to information To what extent do you think this is a good thing Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience You should s v.1

The internet has greatly increased our access to information To what extent do you think this is a good thing 1
Famous people are often the ones who have significant achievements or essential deeds. Most of the ordinary people are attempting to follow these famous people from copying the habits of reading magazines or watching TV. The main reason for this phenomenon is they believe that these habits are the key to success which also implies that they are noble as well. For example, as one finds out that some of his favourite actors are reading ‘Pride and Prejudice’ in their spare time, regardless of how boring it truly is, he will borrow it from the library immediately and try to read. In this case, he will tell his friends that he is reading the book as the actors are, pretending to be elegant. Also, the habit of reading books or watching a specific television programme is more accessible than making much effort into working hard. Laziness causes ordinary people more willing to do easier things. For instance, working hard on assessments or previewing textbooks are boring and demand one to persist. In contrast, the goals which most ordinary people can achieve are usually more exciting and requires less effort. The trend of coping with famous people is a terrible idea. As it is not suitable for everyone, not only the habit does not improve their lives, it is also a waste of time. Instead, learning a piece of new knowledge or reviewing notes from the past which can broaden one’s mind is a better way. Doing sports like jogging or playing ball games are also good options. Living a healthy and positive lifestyle is the only way to achieve one’s best. To summarize, ordinary people who are trying to copy famous people have the typical characteristics of vanity and laziness, which mislead them to waste their time on reading books or watching television. Therefore, it is suggested that these people should focus more on work and school to improve their lives.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
who have significant achievements or essential deeds. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attempting to follow these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from copying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
magazines or watching TV.

The main reason for this phenomenon is they believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
are the key to success which
also
implies that they are noble
as well
.
For example
, as one finds out that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of his
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
actors are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
‘Pride and Prejudice’ in their spare time, regardless of how boring it
truly
is, he will borrow it from the library immediately and try to read.
In this case
, he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
his friends that he is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
the book as the actors are, pretending to be elegant.

Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books or watching a specific television
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
is more accessible than making much effort into working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. Laziness causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more willing to do easier things.
For instance
, working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
on assessments or previewing textbooks are boring and demand one to persist.
In contrast
, the goals which most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can achieve are
usually
more exciting and requires less effort.

The trend of coping with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a terrible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. As it is not suitable for everyone, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, it is
also
a waste of time.
Instead
, learning a piece of new knowledge or reviewing notes from the past which can broaden one’s mind is a better way. Doing sports like jogging or playing ball games are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
options. Living a healthy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
lifestyle is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to achieve one’s best.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are trying to copy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the typical characteristics of vanity and laziness, which mislead them to waste their time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books or watching television.
Therefore
, it
is suggested
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should focus more on work and school to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The internet has greatly increased our access to information To what extent do you think this is a good thing 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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