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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v.25

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 25
There is no doubt that buying things on the internet is becoming more and more popular. Getting your books and groceries delivered to your doorsteps, to booking your air ticket within minutes have become very convenient. In this Essay, I will support my views how advantages of purchasing things online overweighs its disadvantages. One of the major drawbacks of online shopping is the authenticity of the products available. In addition to this, at times the quality of product is not according to the expectations. For example, after several customer complaints online grocery store Grofers has been penalised by the food corporation of India for delivering sub-standard quality grocery items. Sometimes, the incomplete details of the product and services are displayed which leads to dispute. For instance, British Airways is facing trial for providing lofty discount during an online sale, but didn’t inform customers that any baggage will be charged extra, eventually costing customers heavily. The most significant advantage of buying things online is that it opens the sky for customers, providing unlimited options, even from far end of the globe. In other words, buyer has access to the products that are not even available in his/her geographical location. Recently, over 3 million copies of latest autobiography of Indian cricketer “Playing it my Way” is purchased online by people living in North America. Furthermore, online shopping provides various options, discounts, latest style & trends, comparison tools, saving a lot of time and energy of the buyer. To illustrate this point, on Justdial website customer can find, compare, book, modify the air tickets available from multiple airlines and also order grocery etc. To sum up, while there are few disadvantages to online shopping, such as the authenticity of products, improper online presentation, these must be weighed against the benefits like increased reachability, time saving and access to endless options it offers. Personally, I feel that these benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
There is no doubt that buying things on the internet is becoming more and more popular. Getting your books and groceries delivered to your doorsteps, to booking your air ticket within minutes have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient. In this Essay, I will support my views how advantages of purchasing things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweighs
its disadvantages.

One of the major drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping is the authenticity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
available.
In addition
to this, at times the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is not according to the expectations.
For example
, after several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
complaints
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
grocery store
Possible spelling mistake found.
Grofers
has been
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalised' is British English.
penalised
by the food corporation of India for delivering sub-standard quality grocery items.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, the incomplete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and services
are displayed
which leads to dispute.
For instance
, British Airways is facing trial for providing lofty discount during an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sale,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
didn’t inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
that any baggage will
be charged
extra,
eventually
costing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
heavily
.

The most significant advantage of buying things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is that it opens the sky for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
, providing unlimited options, even from far
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the globe.
In other words
, buyer has access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are not even available in his/her geographical location. Recently, over 3 million copies of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
autobiography of Indian cricketer “Playing it my Way” is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in North America.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping provides various options, discounts,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
style & trends, comparison tools, saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and energy of the buyer. To illustrate this point, on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Justdial
website
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
can find, compare, book, modify the air tickets available from multiple airlines and
also
order grocery etc.

To sum up, while there are few disadvantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping, such as the authenticity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, improper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
presentation, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be weighed
against the benefits like increased
Possible spelling mistake found.
reachability
, time saving and access to endless options it offers.
Personally
, I feel that these benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 25

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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