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Write about the following topic. Some people consider art to be essential and others think it is not. Which view do you agree with and why? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. v.11

Some people consider art to be essential and others think it is not. Which view do you agree with and why? v. 11
There is no doubt that these days art is being a common tool to express civilizations's developments. However, the question: Is art important for everyone? Is one of the most controversial issues today. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints. On one side of the argument there are people who consider art as an additional subject that does not require attention. The main reason for believing this is that lack of awareness of these subjects. Furthermore, some countries, especially in the third world do not invest building museums to display art of previous centuries and explain how art can express inventions of these days. One good illustration of this is antiquities trade in Egypt. People are not well educated in order to protect their heritage and as a result they tried to be more reach and gain money without effort. This is because they do not consider craft as an important tool which should be preserved for other generations. On the other hand it is also possible to consider it with the opposing case. It is often argued that in fact art is the sense of love and history. It is a way to express feelings, emotions and history without writing, but by drawing or painting or even doing sculptures. Moreover, some people appreciate profession by attending workshops and seminars to understand more its development through the years. A particularly good example here is the cultural centre and museums in Kuwait. The government tried for years to preserve its ancient art and that's why they built such centres, however, there were some kinds of rejections to those centres from a certain category in the society. As we have seen, there is no easy answer to this question, however, I tend to believe that our ancestors did their best to keep our best records of their craft and we have to know how to be grateful for their efforts.
There is no doubt that these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is being a common tool to express
Did you mean "civilization's" or "civilizations'"?
civilizations's
developments.
However
, the question: Is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for everyone? Is one of the most controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints.

On one side of the argument there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as an additional subject that does not require attention. The main reason for believing this is that lack of awareness of these subjects.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries,
especially
in the third world do not invest building museums to display
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
of previous centuries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can express inventions of these days. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is antiquities trade in Egypt.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
in order to protect their heritage and
as a result
they tried to be more reach and gain money without effort. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not consider craft as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tool which should
be preserved
for other generations.

On the other hand
it is
also
possible to consider it with the opposing case. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that in fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is the sense of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and history. It is a way to express feelings, emotions and history without writing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by drawing or painting or even doing sculptures.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
appreciate profession by attending workshops and seminars to understand more its development through the years. A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is the cultural
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and museums in Kuwait. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
tried for years to preserve its ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and that's why they built such
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
,
however
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of rejections to those
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
from a certain category in the society.

As we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, there is no easy answer to this question,
however
, I tend to believe that our ancestors did their best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our best records of their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
craft and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
know how to be grateful for their efforts.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Some people consider art to be essential and others think it is not. Which view do you agree with and why? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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