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write about the advantages and disadvantages of living a traditional/modern lifestyle. v.1

write about the advantages and disadvantages of living a traditional/modern lifestyle. v. 1
While some people prefer to live an urban life, others believe that living a rural life is best for them. With modern life, you can easily secure your life essentials, and with traditional life, you can stay healthier. Firstly, an important benefit to live in a big city is that your living necessities can be secured with the minimum effort. For example, I live in Cairo, a metropolis city in Egypt, where I have access to lots of shopping malls so that I can find all that I need in one place. On the other hand, people who inhabit the countryside of Egypt enjoy a healthier life. In other words, there are many farms, trees, and green areas that provide them with fresh air and pure oxygen. Also, they eat fresh organic crops made by their own hands. Thus, individuals on both sides of a country would have upsides to enjoy. On the other hand, a crucial problem of living away from the main cities in the few job opportunities available. To better explain, most of the big corporates do not have offices in remote areas. Consequently, one would find it difficult to get a good job, and that would badly affect his career pathway. And the downside of living in modern cities could be detrimental to our health. This is because the weather surrounding the inhabitants is full of dangerous gases such as the carbon dioxide emitted from vehicles and factories truck. Therefore, each area, either central or remote has its own disadvantages. In conclusion, depending on their life preferences, individuals will have some benefits and also some issues such as health dangers for urban life and limited work choices for rural life.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
an urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
a rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is best for them. With modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, you can
easily
secure your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
essentials, and with traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, you can stay healthier.

Firstly
, an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city is that your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
necessities can
be secured
with the minimum effort.
For example
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Cairo, a metropolis city in Egypt, where I have access to lots of shopping malls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can find all that I need in one place. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who inhabit the countryside of Egypt enjoy a healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
farms, trees, and green areas that provide them with fresh air and pure oxygen.
Also
, they eat fresh organic crops made by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hands.
Thus
, individuals on both sides of a country would have upsides to enjoy.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a crucial problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in the few job opportunities available. To better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, most of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
corporates
do not have offices in remote areas.
Consequently
, one would find it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job, and that would
badly
affect his career pathway. And the downside of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
could be detrimental to our health. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the weather surrounding the inhabitants is full of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
gases such as the carbon dioxide emitted from vehicles and factories truck.
Therefore
, each area, either central or remote has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
disadvantages.

In conclusion
, depending on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
preferences, individuals will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues such as health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
for urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and limited work choices for rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay write about the advantages and disadvantages of living a traditional/modern lifestyle. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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