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Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. v. 1
Undoubtedly governments of developed nations should share the responsibility of helping less fortunate nations. Different measures exist, ranging from market access to direct financial payments or even medical assistance. This essay will explain why certain measures are inherently better than other methods. Firstly, the most adequate manner to assist the lesser developed countries is not through health or education ‘hand-outs’. This method is flawed and only offers temporary relief from long-term challenges; also this assistance can be cut at any moment, leaving the country stranded. For example, economical help from the UK to disadvantaged regions in Africa has gradually been reduced since the onset of the financial crisis. Although some parts of the continent may be better educated or in better health, the benefit was short lived, thus leaving the countries of Africa to look for other donors. Commerce is without doubt the most essential type of assistance that can be given. If the lesser developed country has the opportunity to develop trade, then it will build strong capabilities to serve it for the long term. These strengths can develop the local economy and are more reliable than education or health. For example, while trading with the richer country the government can search for other foreign markets to trade with. This would offer more stability and diversification for the nation. To conclude, assistance is definitely necessary for the poorer regions; however, ‘hand-outs’ are short-term solutions. The optimum solution is to offer market access so the region can produce products and generate regular income.
Undoubtedly
governments
of developed nations should share the responsibility of helping less fortunate nations.
Different
measures exist, ranging from market access to direct financial payments or even medical
assistance
. This essay will
explain
why certain measures are
inherently
better than other methods.

Firstly
, the most adequate manner to assist the lesser developed
countries
is not through health or education ‘hand-outs’. This method
is flawed
and
only
offers temporary relief from long-term challenges;
also
this
assistance
can be
cut
at any moment, leaving the
country
stranded.
For example
, economical
help
from the UK to disadvantaged regions in Africa has
gradually
been
reduced
since the onset of the financial crisis. Although
some
parts of the continent may be better educated or in better health, the benefit was short
lived
,
thus
leaving the
countries
of Africa to look for other donors.

Commerce is without doubt the most essential type of
assistance
that can be
given
. If the lesser developed
country
has the opportunity to develop trade, then it will build strong capabilities to serve it for the long term. These strengths can develop the local economy and are more reliable than education or health.
For example
, while trading with the richer
country
the
government
can search for other foreign markets to trade with. This would offer more stability and diversification for the nation.

To conclude
,
assistance
is definitely necessary for the poorer regions;
however
, ‘hand-outs’ are short-term solutions. The optimum solution is to offer market access
so
the region can produce products and generate regular income.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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