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Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on our health and society. Governments should introduce measures to restrict ownership of mobile phones to those who need them for their work. v.1

Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on our health and society. Governments should introduce measures to restrict ownership of mobile phones to those who need them for their work. v. 1
It is believed that the existence of cellular phone technology has created social, medical and technical problems for individuals and societies. I personally disagree with the thought, if people think that there are more disadvantages than the advantages of cell phones and the following essay will discuss this issue in details. To begin with, it is true that the development of mobile phone technology has created some problems for human kinds. Firstly, many people believe that the wireless phone technology has made people become more individualistic. In the most common case, many families are having communication problems these days, due to each member of the family are busy with their devices. Secondly, it has been reported that the wireless technology has some negative effects on our health. Many scientists believe that the technology has become one of the contributors to human's brain damage and trigger brain cancer as well. Thirdly, it has been reported that some people have been injured due the technical problems of the phone itself. There have been cases where the battery of the phone had exploded when it was used to make phone calls, and it caused serious injuries to the user. Despite all the social, medical and technical problems of mobile phones, I do believe that the existence of the device brings a lot of benefits for human beings. Mobile phones can be used to connect to a specific person, though the person might be travelling to other places. And then, with the various function of mobile phone technology nowadays, it can be used to send and received important emails. Besides that, with the chatting application that could be installed on the phones, it has made distance communication become cheaper. And last but not the least, the phone can also be used as a navigation system to find a new area or new address. In conclusion, it is true that handheld phone technology has caused some problems for mankind, but I disagree with the opinion that the problem of these phones outweighs the benefits. I do believe that mobile phone has assisted the human being in various ways and it is the irresponsible act of humans themselves that has caused the problem.
It
is believed
that the existence of cellular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has created social, medical and technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for individuals and societies. I
personally
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are more disadvantages than the advantages of cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and the following essay will discuss this issue in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is true that the development of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
kinds.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the wireless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more individualistic. In the most common case,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families are having communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
these days, due to each member of the family are busy with their devices.

Secondly
, it has
been reported
that the wireless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on our health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has become one of the contributors to human's brain damage and trigger brain cancer
as well
.
Thirdly
, it has
been reported
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been injured
due the technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
itself. There have been cases where the battery of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
had exploded when it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
calls, and it caused serious injuries to the user.

Despite all the social, medical and technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, I do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the existence of the device brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to connect to a specific person, though the person might be travelling to other places. And then, with the various function of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
nowadays, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
and received
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
emails.
Besides
that, with the chatting application that could
be installed
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, it has made distance communication become cheaper. And last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a navigation system to find a new area or new address.

In conclusion
, it is true that handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for mankind,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I disagree with the opinion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
outweighs the benefits. I do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has assisted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being in various ways and it is the irresponsible act of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
themselves that has caused the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on our health and society. Governments should introduce measures to restrict ownership of mobile phones to those who need them for their work. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
367 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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