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Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter, explain the reason for the noise apologise for the noise describe what action you will take v.1

Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter, explain the reason for the noise apologise for the noise describe what action you will take v. 1
It is often argued that numbers of boys and girls admitted to every university subject must be the same. I strongly disagree with this statement that accepting the equal proportions of males and females in every subject. Firstly, every student has their own favourite subject and free to choose what they want to study in a university. When they were in high school, each of them must have thought what are they going to study based on what they are interested in. There are many subjects that are suitable to each gender. For example, fashion design and nurse are more attracted to girls compare to boys. Students cannot be forced just to fill the course that is less demand in male or female students. Secondly, they must see the applicants from their score and other qualifications. It is extremely unfair if they see from the applicants from the gender. For example, when a male student has a higher grade on his qualifications, but the number of male students outweighs the number of girl students and he is not allowed to join the course. It is not fair if they force them whenever the number of each gender has reached the limit and do not allow them who have higher grade to join the course. In conclusion, the number of students admitted must base on their qualifications and it is completely unfair if they were selected by gender. Each student has their own choice to choose what they like and passion
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of boys and girls admitted to every university subject
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be the same. I
strongly
disagree with this statement that accepting the equal proportions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and females in every subject.

Firstly
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
subject and free to choose what they want to study in a university. When they were in high school, each of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
what are they going to study based on what they
are interested
in. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
subjects that are suitable to each gender.
For example
, fashion design and nurse are more attracted to girls compare to boys.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
cannot
be forced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to fill the course
that is
less demand in male or female students.

Secondly
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the applicants from their score and other qualifications. It is
extremely
unfair if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the applicants from the gender.
For example
, when a male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has a higher grade on his qualifications,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
outweighs the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of girl
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
students and
he is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the course. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
if they force them whenever the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of each gender has reached the limit and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them who have higher grade to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the course.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
admitted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
base on their qualifications and it is completely unfair if they
were selected
by gender. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice to choose what they like and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
passion
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter, explain the reason for the noise apologise for the noise describe what action you will take v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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