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Some people think people are responsible for a solution to pollution made by transportation and other think government are. Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people think people are responsible for a solution to pollution made by transportation and other think government are. 1
Numerous people argue that the only result to guarantee getting a good occupation to archive a course of educational institution, particularly in college. There are those who claim that there is another choice for having worked after school that can obtain experience in the global work. Personally, I partially agree that people who graduate the university always have good jobs. The supporting reasons will be given throughout this essay. There are some crucial reasons why some groups of certain people success in their life. The initial matter to be mentioned that is capable, it brings about the profession. Due to the fact that certain workers, mostly graduated the university, it possibly guarantee of employers to choose them. A clear illustration is that having the high position need to have high degrees and well-profile. This action impacts on there are a variety of job application’s types, leading to avoiding unemployed. Despite completing the university, there are some arguments that a famous person who never went to college, but he has sums of salary and various experiences. It is not the only way to confirm that people who finished the college might get a good career. Due to the reason that I mentioned, Steve job who improves the innovative technology or IT, particularly Apple organization. Additionally, he aims to use imagination more than knowledge and using life skills. His capability like intelligent person. He figures out the problem by themselves and try to challenge things which reward to the people’ need, such as iPhone, iPad and others. It contributes to the famous logo on the globalisation. In conclusion, Both views have obvious different results, so it is clear that people always not lucky or have special abilities since they born. As a suggestion, the diplomacy from educational institution might guarantee the status of people and having various choices for themselves.
Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
result to guarantee getting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
occupation to archive a course of educational institution,
particularly
in college. There are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
claim that there is another choice for having worked after school that can obtain experience in the global work.
Personally
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
graduate the university always have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs. The supporting reasons will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
throughout this essay.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crucial reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
success in their life. The initial matter to
be mentioned
that is
capable, it brings about the profession. Due to the fact that certain workers,
mostly
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduated from".
graduated
the university, it
possibly
Did you mean "guarantees"?
guarantee
of employers to choose them. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
illustration is that having the high position need to have high degrees and well-profile. This action impacts on there are a variety of job application’s types, leading to avoiding unemployed.

Despite completing the university, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments that a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
never went to college,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he has sums of salary and various experiences. It is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to confirm that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
finished the college might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
career. Due to the reason that I mentioned, Steve job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the innovative technology or IT,
particularly
Apple organization.
Additionally
, he aims to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
imagination more than knowledge and using life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. His capability like intelligent person. He figures out the problem by themselves and try to challenge things which reward to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’
need, such as iPhone, iPad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. It contributes to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
logo on the
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
.

In conclusion
, Both views have obvious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
results,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always not lucky or have special abilities since they born. As a suggestion, the diplomacy from educational institution might guarantee the status of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and having various choices for themselves.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think people are responsible for a solution to pollution made by transportation and other think government are. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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