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write a letter to your friend you stayed with him or her and forget your watch over theresay thanks to him or herabout what u forgetnow what he or she need to do v.1

write a letter to your friend you stayed with him or her and forget your watch over theresay thanks to him or herabout what u forgetnow what he or she need to do v. 1
Music is created in multiple genres, it can change an individuals mood instantly. A few have stated that it's a successful way of bridging gaps between people coming from varied backgrounds and age groups. It's an emotion that music brings alive within a person, regardless of any other aspect of the human body. I completely agree to this fact. This essay will attempt to elaborate the points substantiating my agreement. Firstly, the melody is created across the globe and are not limited to a certain area. But with the digitisation and technological advances that the world is going through it has become possible for listeners to be exposed to music from a different part of the world. Sharing the liking of a common genre brings people from different mindsets onto the same accord and helps in sharing a similar wavelength. For example, at a concert you find diversified crowds coming to listen to the same artist and share a common thread. Secondly, music doesn't die. Trickling down from generations there are classics that are heard by teenagers and older people. Artists like ACDC, Bryan Adams and Metallica have specific genres which are suitable for any age. Bands like Coldplay are known across for their music and not for whom they create it for. For example, the ACDC tour of 2019 had a mixture of crowds across the age band. Bringing this essay to a close, it's music that is bringing people together and helping them unite as a fan club merging cultures and breaking barriers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is created
in multiple genres, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
an
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "individuals'" or "individual's"?
individuals
mood
instantly
. A few have stated that it's a successful way of bridging gaps between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming from varied backgrounds and age groups. It's an emotion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
brings alive within a person, regardless of any other aspect of the human body. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this fact. This essay will attempt to elaborate the points substantiating my agreement.

Firstly
, the melody
is created
across the globe and are not limited to a certain area.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'digitisation' is British English.
digitisation
and technological advances that the world is going through it has become possible for listeners to
be exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the world. Sharing the liking of a common genre brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mindsets onto the same accord and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in sharing a similar wavelength.
For example
, at a concert you find diversified crowds coming to listen to the same artist and share a common thread.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. Trickling down from generations there are classics that
are heard
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Artists like ACDC, Bryan Adams and Metallica have specific genres which are suitable for any age. Bands like Coldplay
are known
across for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and not for whom they create it for.
For example
, the ACDC tour of 2019 had a mixture of crowds across the age band.

Bringing this essay to a close, it's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that is
bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together and helping them unite as a fan club merging cultures and breaking barriers.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay write a letter to your friend you stayed with him or her and forget your watch over theresay thanks to him or herabout what u forgetnow what he or she need to do v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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