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You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter • Say, why he/she would not enjoy going to college • Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her • Suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her. v.1

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter • Say, why he/she would not enjoy going to college • Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her • Suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her. v. 1
Dear Veena, I am glad to see your letter after a long time. Since I have been busy with my hectic job, couldn't contact you any sooner. I know that you are a little worried and confused about what could be the best option for you, whether to join a college or find a job. First, I think you should find some work since your family is in crisis after your dad’s retirement and because there is no one to support your family in this situation. You are a grown and responsible person, hence the family expects a lot from you. Furthermore, if you join college in such a distressing situation, I am sure you would not be able to take pleasure from it. Therefore, getting suitable work is a need of the hour and while doing so you will get satisfaction to support your family. For example. When you start working in a particular company you can aim two things like you will be not just able to support your family, but also save up some money to join university next year. Needless to say, you are truly excellent in communication skills, so a sales and marketing job will be a great option for you. You will do justice to it and you will soon get promoted too. I wish you all the best and hope to hear from you soon, don’t forget to keep in touch. Take care and pass my regards to your parents. With love, Ayesha
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Veena
,

I am glad to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
your letter after a long time. Since I have been busy with my hectic job, couldn't contact you any sooner. I know that you are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
worried and confused about what could be the best option for you, whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a college or find a job.

First
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you should find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
work since your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is in crisis after your dad’s retirement and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no one to support your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in this situation. You are a grown and responsible person,
hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
a lot from you.

Furthermore
, if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
college in such a distressing situation, I am sure you would not be able to take pleasure from it.
Therefore
, getting suitable work is a need of the hour and while doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
satisfaction to support your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
For example
. When you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working in a particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
you can aim two things like you will be not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
able to support your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
save up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
university
next
year.

Needless to say, you are
truly
excellent in communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
a sales and marketing job will be a great option for you. You will do justice to it and you will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promoted too.

I wish you all the best and hope to hear from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
, don’t forget to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch.

Take care and pass my regards to your parents.

With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
,

Ayesha
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter • Say, why he/she would not enjoy going to college • Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her • Suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her. v. 1

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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