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You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job Write a letter to this friend. In your letter • Say why he/she would not enjoy going college • Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her • Suggest the types of jobs that would be suitable for him/her v.1

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job Write a letter to this friend. In your letter • Say why he/she would not enjoy going college • Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her • Suggest the types of jobs that would be suitable for him/her v. 1
Dear Charlie, How are you doing? I’m writing in response to your last letter requesting my guidance on if you should search for employment opportunities or attend university. Thank you for writing to me last week concerning my guidance on if you should search for employment opportunities or attend a university I’m glad and honoured that you asked for my counsel on this matter. I’d advice you to secure a job rather than further your education because you’ll not appreciate college life. In university, you’ll have to attend numerous lectures with each lecturer giving the class homework after each tutorial. This means that at the end of each day, you could be going home with four assignments at the very least, in which would require you to spend ample time in the library researching for articles to be able to carry out these take home assignments which in my opinion, is rather too stressful and energy draining. You’re better off gaining employment because it would give you more time to enjoy your social life in which, if you had taken up schooling, you would rarely have the time to go out with friends and meet people. In addition, working requires less reading thus, you’ll spend limited time studying documents, for example, correspondences and reports. Also, most importantly, you’d be earning some money for your upkeep and for solving other monetary requirements. There’s a wide range of occupations that are appropriate for you given that you have some secretarial and administrative experiences and trainings. So, I’d suggest you look out for job vacancies in those fields, for instance, executive assistant, administrative officer, secretary and customer service representative, would suit you perfectly. You’d have no issues adapting and working in these roles because you’ve the basic knowledge and background that will help you succeed in these areas of work. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Warm regards, Sam
Dear Charlie,

How are you doing?

I’m writing in response to your last letter requesting my guidance on if you should search for employment opportunities or attend university. Thank you for writing to me last week concerning my guidance on if you should search for employment opportunities or attend a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
university


I’m glad and
Possible spelling mistake. 'honoured' is British English.
honoured
that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asked for
my counsel on this matter. I’d advice you to secure a job
rather
than
further
your education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you’ll not appreciate college life. In university, you’ll
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend numerous lectures with each lecturer giving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
homework after each tutorial. This means that at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of each day, you could be going home with four assignments at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
least, in which would require you to spend ample
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the library researching for articles to be able to carry out these take home assignments which in my opinion, is
rather
too stressful and energy draining.

You’re better off gaining employment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would give you more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enjoy your social life in which, if you had taken up schooling, you would rarely have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go out with friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In addition
, working requires less reading
thus
, you’ll spend limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
studying documents,
for example
, correspondences and reports.
Also
, most
importantly
, you’d be earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money for your upkeep and for solving other monetary requirements.

There’s a wide range of occupations that are appropriate for you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
secretarial and administrative experiences and trainings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I’d suggest you look out for job vacancies in those fields,
for instance
, executive assistant, administrative officer, secretary and customer service representative, would suit you
perfectly
. You’d have no issues adapting and working in these roles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you’ve the basic knowledge and background that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you succeed in these areas of work.

Looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Warm regards,

Sam
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job Write a letter to this friend. In your letter • Say why he/she would not enjoy going college • Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her • Suggest the types of jobs that would be suitable for him/her v. 1

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
316 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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