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Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you. v.1

Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you. v. 1
Teaching has always been one of the most respectable professions in the world. However, nowadays a lower number of adults prefer a career in school education especially working with teenagers. This essay will examine the main causes of the problem and possible solutions to it. I am convinced that the two main reasons for the low attractiveness of the occupation are low income and high workload. Teachers’ pay is not comparable with other popular professions such as programmers, lawyers or doctors. This can be one of the main reasons why graduates prefer other specializations to ponder instead of applying for pedagogical faculty. For instance, statistics show a significant decrease in the interest and demand for educational degrees. The second cause, which is the volume of work, can play an even more significant role in the unpopularity of this job. Long working hours, both on and off school hours can provoke a burnout effect which has a negative effect on the health and quality of life. For example, my best friend’s mom who has spent decades teaching the schoolers usually finished her working day almost at midnight after extra tutoring and homework checking. I am inclined to think that some of the possible solutions to this problem are governmental support and official regulations of the endeavour. Since academic work is so dignified in the society, the authority has to intervene in this matter and suggest public subsidies to patronage the teachers. Hence, only government attention is able to restore the desirability of the job. In addition, the volume of teaching should be regulated as well. Not only time at school should be considered as official working hours, but the duration of the mentoring as well. To conclude, these days pedagogy is under pressure since insufficient salaries and high burden. However, with the substantial sponsorship from the administration side, the prestige of being a teacher can be recovered.
Teaching has always been one of the most respectable professions in the world.
However
, nowadays a lower number of adults prefer a career in school education
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. This essay will examine the main causes of the problem and possible solutions to it.

I
am convinced
that the two main reasons for the low attractiveness of the occupation are low income and high workload. Teachers’ pay is not comparable with other popular professions such as programmers, lawyers or doctors. This can be one of the main reasons why graduates prefer other specializations to ponder
instead
of applying for pedagogical faculty.
For instance
, statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a significant decrease in the interest and demand for educational degrees. The second cause, which is the volume of work, can play an even more significant role in the unpopularity of this job. Long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours, both on and off school hours can provoke a burnout effect which has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the health and quality of life.
For example
, my best friend’s mom who has spent decades teaching the schoolers
usually
finished her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
day almost at midnight after extra tutoring and homework checking.

I
am inclined
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
possible solutions to this problem are governmental support and official regulations of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
. Since academic work is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
dignified in the society, the authority
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
intervene in this matter and suggest public subsidies to patronage the teachers.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
attention is able to restore the desirability of the job.
In addition
, the volume of teaching should
be regulated
as well
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
time at school should
be considered
as official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the duration of the mentoring
as well
.

To conclude
, these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
pedagogy is under pressure since insufficient salaries and high burden.
However
, with the substantial sponsorship from the administration side, the prestige of being a teacher can
be recovered
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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