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Adults today do not do enough exercise. Some people believe that showing major sports events like the Olympics or the World Cup on television encourages people to exercise. Others argue that there are better ways to encourage adults to move more. Discuss v.3

Adults today do not do enough exercise. Some people believe that showing major sports events like the Olympics or the World Cup on television encourages people to exercise. Others argue that there are better ways to encourage adults to move more. Discuss v. 3
Certain individual think that the administration is losing money by spending on arts and that this amount could be utilized on other things. I completely agree with the notion of allocating the budget on other vital issues. To begin with, The finance on art could be reserved by the government on other pressing issues like education. People in most countries do not have a place to study or even no books. If they have both then it is difficult for them to bear the expenses of higher tuition fee and study materials. Hence state can strip the art budge and use the same amount to construct new school, provide them books and even consider on waiving of tuition fee. When people obtain the knowledge that can be reinvested back in developing their community. For instance, In Africa, There were no educational institution, resources for the children and hence ministry have allocated funds for all and now the provinces have more knowledge individual like before. Furthermore, Resources for the Arts are being applied for another important issue of Health services. People in most communities are increasing facing shortages of vaccine needed for the children. There are not polyclinic to treat the short term problem of people and even no proper medical facilities. Therefore, The funds which are available for other service could be used in building hospitals and even the money can be spent on purchasing the drugs to cure it citizens, For example, In Africa, 50% of deaths are caused due to non availability of equipment like X-ray machine or Scanning machine and the other 35% of deaths are caused due to non availability of Medicine to diagnose the patients. In conclusion, In my opinion, I strongly support for using the assigned funds of art for education and medical facilities of its citizen.
Certain individual
think
that the administration is losing money by spending on
arts
and that this amount could
be utilized
on
other
things. I completely
agree
with the notion of allocating the budget on
other
vital issues.

To
begin
with, The finance on
art
could
be reserved
by the
government
on
other
pressing issues like education.
People
in most countries do not have a place to study or even no books. If they have both then it is difficult for them to bear the expenses of higher tuition fee and study materials.
Hence
state can strip the
art
budge and
use
the same amount to construct new school, provide them books and even consider on waiving of tuition fee.
When
people
obtain the knowledge that can
be reinvested
back in developing their community.
For instance
, In Africa, There were no educational institution, resources for the children and
hence
ministry have allocated funds for all and
now
the provinces have more knowledge individual like
before
.

Furthermore
, Resources for the
Arts
are
being applied
for another
important
issue of Health services.
People
in most communities are increasing facing shortages of vaccine needed for the children. There are not polyclinic to treat the short term problem of
people
and even no proper medical facilities.
Therefore
, The funds which are available for
other
service could be
used
in building hospitals and even the money can
be spent
on purchasing the drugs to cure it citizens,
For example
, In Africa, 50% of deaths
are caused
due to
non availability
of equipment like X-ray machine or Scanning machine and the
other
35% of deaths
are caused
due to
non availability
of Medicine to diagnose the patients.

In conclusion
, In my opinion, I
strongly
support for using the assigned funds of
art
for education and medical facilities of its citizen.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Adults today do not do enough exercise. Some people believe that showing major sports events like the Olympics or the World Cup on television encourages people to exercise. Others argue that there are better ways to encourage adults to move more. Discuss v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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