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Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your letterCorrect the information in the articleExplain why it is important for the magazine to give correct informationSuggest what the magazine should do about the situation. v.1

Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your letterCorrect the information in the articleExplain why it is important for the magazine to give correct informationSuggest what the magazine should do about the situation. v. 1
Although it is sometimes thought that the best way to getting a job is to receive a graduate degree from a university, other people believe that the focus should be on gaining experience. In my opinion, I consider that the degree helps students to earn a guaranteed job. On the one hand, some people think that qualification is more likely to find task often contributes positively to society and I agree. In other words, the students with higher grades have more positions that motivate to excel in their professional career, which, consequently, pays better income and payroll. For instance, In Hyderabad International companies offering, work of 100 students from each institution who scored more than 60 percent in all four semesters, as a result, they are paid with high wages that ensures the future life. Furthermore, being driven to achieve the best is vital to succeeding later when, as employers, they must compete against others in the professional market. On the other hand, it is often believed that it is better if the emphasis on the industry on getting experience with others. As peoples, self-made entrepreneurs enter the world straight out of school, they would tell you to gain three or more years of industry practice, most of the time it is seen, many employers would not speak English fluently in certain companies. Furthermore, so that to upgrade in English proficiency, workers should be educated in universities which gives good possibilities in the coming life. In conclusion, while people may vary their opinions, I think that a certificate from the university will have a professional growth if they are good at research, manage and analytical skills.
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the best way to getting a job is to receive a graduate degree from a university,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the focus should be on gaining experience. In my opinion, I consider that the degree
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
students to earn a guaranteed job.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that qualification is more likely to find task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
contributes
positively
to society and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the students with higher grades have more positions that motivate to excel in their professional career, which,
consequently
, pays better income and payroll.
For instance
, In Hyderabad International
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
offering, work of 100 students from each institution who scored more than 60 percent in all four semesters,
as a result
, they
are paid
with high wages that ensures the future life.
Furthermore
,
being driven
to achieve the best is vital to succeeding later when, as employers, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
compete against others in the professional market.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that it is better if the emphasis on the industry on getting experience with others. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
, self-made entrepreneurs enter the world straight out of school, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you to gain three or more years of industry practice, most of the time it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers would not speak English
fluently
in certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that to upgrade in English proficiency, workers should
be educated
in universities which gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
possibilities in the coming life.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary their opinions, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a certificate from the university will have a professional growth if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at research, manage and analytical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your letterCorrect the information in the articleExplain why it is important for the magazine to give correct informationSuggest what the magazine should do about the situation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your letterCorrect the information in the articleExplain why it is important for the magazine to give correct informationSuggest what the magazine should do about the situation. v.1