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the graph below shows the number of passenger railway journeys made in great britain between 1950 and 2005 v.1

the graph below shows the number of passenger railway journeys made in great britain between 1950 and 2005 v. 1
Although it is sometimes thought that the best way to getting a job is to receive a graduate degree from a university, other people believe that the focus should be on gaining experience. In my opinion, I consider that the degree helps students to earn a guaranteed job. On the one hand, some people think that qualification is more likely to find work often contributes positively to society and I agree. In other words, the students with higher grades have more positions that motivate to excel in their professional career, which, consequently, pays better income and payroll. For instance, In Hyderabad International companies offering, work of 100 students from each institution who scored more than 60 percent in all four semesters, as a result, they are paid with high wages that ensure the future life. Furthermore, being driven to achieve the best is vital to succeeding later when, as employers, they must compete against others in the professional market. On the other hand, it is often believed that it is better if the emphasis on the industry on getting experience with others. As peoples, self-made entrepreneurs enter the world straight out of school, they would tell you to gain three or more years of industry practice, most of the time it is seen, many employers would not speak English fluently in certain companies. So that to upgrade in English proficiency, workers should be educated in universities which gives good possibilities in the coming life. In conclusion, while people may vary their opinions, I think that a certificate from the university will have professional growth if they are good at research, manage and analytical skills.
Although it is
sometimes
thought
that the best way to getting a job is to receive a graduate degree from a university,
other
people
believe that the focus should be on gaining experience. In my opinion, I consider that the degree
helps
students to earn a guaranteed job.

On the one hand,
some
people
think
that qualification is more likely to find work
often
contributes
positively
to society and I
agree
. In
other
words, the students with higher grades have more positions that motivate to excel in their professional career, which,
consequently
, pays better income and payroll.
For instance
, In Hyderabad International
companies
offering, work of 100 students from each institution who scored more than 60 percent in all four semesters,
as a result
, they
are paid
with high wages that ensure the future life.
Furthermore
,
being driven
to achieve the best is vital to succeeding later when, as employers, they
must
compete against others in the professional market.

On the
other
hand, it is
often
believed that it is better if the emphasis on the industry on getting experience with others. As
peoples
, self-made entrepreneurs enter the world straight out of school, they would
tell
you to gain three or more years of industry practice, most of the time it is
seen
,
many
employers would not speak English
fluently
in certain
companies
.
So
that to upgrade in English proficiency, workers should
be educated
in universities which gives
good
possibilities in the coming life.

In conclusion
, while
people
may vary their opinions, I
think
that a certificate from the university will have professional growth if they are
good
at research, manage and analytical
skills
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay the graph below shows the number of passenger railway journeys made in great britain between 1950 and 2005 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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