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You have read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your letter- Correct the information in the article- Explain why it is import v.1

You have read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your letter- Correct the information in the article- Explain why it is import v. 1
Transnational corporations are becoming more common in less developed nations. The primary benefit of this phenomenon is that these companies provide employment opportunities to people living in that country, while the local businesses could suffer from losses due to reduced trade is the main drawback. The principal advantage of setting up multinational firms in developing countries is that it facilitates the individuals of that region with various job offers. That is to say, these organizations need people to work for them at different levels of departments to function properly and produce products. As a result, more people will be hired providing adequate jobs with appropriate salaries. For example, Apple from the USA opened a new branch in India in 2012, providing working options to over 1 million people since then. Despite the benefit of increased jobs to the public, the regional trading markets will undergo tremendous strain due to decreased sales of their products. In other words, people tend to purchase goods from multinational markets, which offers them with low prices and better quality in comparison with local shops. Apparently, the regional businesses will face hardship due to financial losses incurred due to fewer sales. For instance, in 2014 Titan stores in Indian had seen a 30% drop in their sales because of the inauguration of new Fossil shops. In conclusion, although the main advantage of setting up international firms in developing countries would facilitate their individuals with numerous jobs, the regional trade will see monetary loss and even lead to bankruptcy due to decreased trading.
Transnational corporations are becoming more common in less developed nations. The primary benefit of this phenomenon is that these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provide employment opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in that country, while the local businesses could suffer from losses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
trade is the main drawback.

The principal advantage of setting up multinational firms in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
is that it facilitates the individuals of that region with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offers.
That is
to say, these organizations need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work for them at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels of departments to function
properly
and produce products.
As a result
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be hired
providing adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with appropriate salaries.
For example
, Apple from the USA opened a new branch in India in 2012, providing working options to over 1 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since then.

Despite the benefit of increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to the public, the regional trading markets will undergo tremendous strain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to decreased sales of their products.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from multinational markets, which offers them with low prices and better quality
in comparison
with local shops.
Apparently
, the regional businesses will face hardship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to financial losses incurred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to fewer sales.
For instance
, in 2014 Titan stores in Indian had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a 30% drop in their sales
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the inauguration of new Fossil shops.

In conclusion
, although the main advantage of setting up international firms in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
would facilitate their individuals with numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, the regional trade will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
monetary loss and even lead to bankruptcy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to decreased trading.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You have read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your letter- Correct the information in the article- Explain why it is import v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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