Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Write a letter to a travel agent expressing your dissatisfaction with their facilities due to a problem you had on a holiday v.1

Write a letter to a travel agent expressing your dissatisfaction with their facilities due to a problem you had on a holiday v. 1
First of all, been a common belief among specialists that teaching a new language in elementary academy is more beneficial than teaching at junior high school for students, and considering this, it is arguable that this bears some risks in itself. While I support the notion that a second accent education at a primary academy can be risky at times, I also believe its cons are outweighed by its pros. To begin with the positive sides of learning a foreign accent at the primary schools, it can be learnt effortlessly, since a child's brain is analogous to an empty hard-disk that can be uploaded more quickly at this age. What I mean by that is that people bear more talent about memorising new words when they are small kids, and it is considered learning a new accent requires a strong memory. Moreover, it should be mentioned that children at secondary schools may develop some biases against studying a foreign terminology if they have some difficulties in understanding the basics of another language’s grammar, as well. Because of that resisting to learn is seen most often after elementary institute; therefore, it has been advised by experts to put second language courses in elementary schools’ curricula too. Despite the positive contributions of learning a foreign dialect in elementary schools, I should accept that there is a major risk. Since a second terminology education has many attractive features, professionals are keen on using them without considering the dangers. To further clarify this with an instance, I can state that children at elementary institute merely initiate learning the fundamental grammar in their native expression, so it might create confusion to learn another speech grammar rules and make a comparison. In conclusion, it is obvious that there exist both advantages and disadvantages associated with learning a foreign dialect at elementary institute instead of the next step of education. However, from where I stand, merits of easy memorising in early ages and undeveloped biases to the course readily outweigh the demerits.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, been a common belief among specialists that teaching a new language in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
academy is more beneficial than teaching at junior high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for students, and considering this, it is arguable that this bears
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
in itself. While I support the notion that a second accent education at a primary academy can be risky at times, I
also
believe its cons
are outweighed
by its pros.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
accent at the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, it can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
effortlessly
, since a child's brain is analogous to an empty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-disk that can
be uploaded
more
quickly
at this age. What I mean by
that is
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
bear more talent about
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorising' is British English.
memorising
new words when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
kids, and it
is considered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a new accent requires a strong memory.
Moreover
, it should
be mentioned
that children at secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
may develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
biases against studying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
terminology if they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties in understanding the basics of another language’s grammar,
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that resisting to learn is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
institute;
therefore
, it has
been advised
by experts to put second language courses in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools’
curricula too.

Despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
contributions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
dialect in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, I should accept that there is a major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. Since a second terminology education has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
attractive features, professionals are keen on using them without considering the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
. To
further
clarify this with an instance, I can state that children at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
institute
merely
initiate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
the fundamental grammar in their native expression,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it might create confusion to learn another speech grammar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a comparison.

In conclusion
, it is obvious that there exist both advantages and disadvantages associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
dialect at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
institute
instead
of the
next
step of education.
However
, from where I stand, merits of easy
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorising' is British English.
memorising
in early ages and undeveloped biases to the course
readily
outweigh the demerits.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Write a letter to a travel agent expressing your dissatisfaction with their facilities due to a problem you had on a holiday v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts