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Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter: •thank them for the photos and for the holiday•explain why you didn't wri v.1

Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter: •thank them for the photos and for the holiday•explain why you didn't wri v. 1
One of the modern issues that communities face is the well-being predicaments, particularly common obesity problems among adolescents. Therefore, certain types of the physical education program are proposed by schools in order to keep the young generation fit. This essay argues that any forms of physical activities are vital for them and that these classes should become mandatory for students. Firstly, this essay will discuss the benefits to health, followed by a description of pluses for a career. It is known that doing sports is a main key to medical issues like obesity and heart problems. Furthermore, research findings reveal that at least 15 minutes of physical activity can aid those who have mental diseases like depression, anxiety, panic attacks that are frequent among modern teenagers. As blood speed accelerates while exercises, it makes people feel fresher. In other words, physical training classes can improve students' well-being. In addition, nowadays physical abilities of people are accessed at the same level as intellectual by employers. A good example here is that clever employees that are physically developed as well have greater possibilities to be hired in contrast to only intellectually developed candidates. The explanation lies in the fact that it is more effective for companies to have staff that do sports because usually their productivity is higher. This means that the physical education program learned at school could become extremely useful during the placement. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account physical education classes provides youngsters with well-being and a gateway to good careers. That is why the program should become required in all schools.
One of the modern issues that communities face is the well-being predicaments,
particularly
common obesity problems among adolescents.
Therefore
, certain types of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education program
are proposed
by schools in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the young generation fit. This essay argues that any forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities are vital for them and that these classes should become mandatory for students.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss the benefits to health, followed by a description of pluses for a career.

It
is known
that doing sports is a main key to medical issues like obesity and heart problems.
Furthermore
, research findings reveal that at least 15 minutes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity can aid those who have mental diseases like depression, anxiety, panic attacks that are frequent among modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. As blood speed accelerates while exercises, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel fresher.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
training classes can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
students' well-being.

In addition
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
abilities of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are accessed
at the same level as intellectual by employers. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is that clever employees that are
physically
developed
as well
have greater possibilities to
be hired
in contrast
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
intellectually
developed candidates. The explanation lies in the fact that it is more effective for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to have staff that do sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
usually
their productivity is higher. This means that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education program learned at school could become
extremely
useful during the placement.

In conclusion
, taking everything mentioned into account
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education classes provides youngsters with well-being and a gateway to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
careers.
That is
why the program should become required in all schools.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter: •thank them for the photos and for the holiday•explain why you didn't wri v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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