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There will be a traditional celebration in your country and you want to invite your friendfrom an English-speaking country. Write him/her a letter and- invite your friend, - explain what happens at the party, - describe the tradition and why it’s importan v.1

There will be a traditional celebration in your country and you want to invite your friendfrom an English-speaking country. Write him/her a letter and- invite your friend, - explain what happens at the party, - describe the tradition and why it’s importan v. 1
The e-commerce websites, which have re-invented the way we shop, now have an increased number of people opting for them in the last few years. While online shopping can certainly reduce the buying time to a great extent, there are few drawbacks that come along with it. One evident benefit of online shopping is that it has now become effortless for the elderly people to shop. Starting from the daily groceries to gifts for special occasions, everything is available online. For example, my mother of 67 years of age cannot live without the online grocery delivery website and can vouch for their service. Online shopping, which is certainly also beneficial for the younger generations, gives them options not to rely on the local stores to get their choice of clothes or perfumes now. Rather, they can shop from the brands around the world. Thus, online shopping has also helped businesses to reach out globally, which has increased their profitability. On the other hand, the local tailors, clothing shops, along with the local grocery shops have been losing out their profit to e-commerce companies for a long time now. This is affecting the poor more and is certainly alarming for a country like India, where many depend on their daily earning for a living. There have been numerous cases of fraud as well. For instance, people ordering something and then receiving something completely rubbish or broken. Returning those then becomes a daunting task for the buyer. To conclude, I feel that although the disadvantages of online shopping can be severe sometimes, the advantages certainly and easily outweighs everything else. However, we need to keep supporting our local businesses and be vigilant about the websites, from which we are buying. Hence, if we mix both types of shopping, we can balance both and this will be giving us a nicer experience while shopping.
The e-commerce websites, which have re-invented the way we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
have an increased number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opting for them in the last few years. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the buying time to a great extent, there are few drawbacks that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
along with it.

One evident benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is that it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
become effortless for the elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. Starting from the daily groceries to gifts for special occasions, everything is available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
For example
, my mother of 67 years of age cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
grocery delivery website and can vouch for their service.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certainly
also
beneficial for the younger generations, gives them options not to rely on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their choice of clothes or perfumes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
.
Rather
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
from the brands around the world.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
businesses to reach out globally, which has increased their profitability.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
tailors, clothing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
grocery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
have been losing out their profit to e-commerce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
for a long time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
. This is affecting the poor more and is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certainly
alarming for a country like India, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
depend on their daily earning for a living. There have been numerous cases of fraud
as well
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ordering something and then receiving something completely rubbish or broken. Returning those then becomes a daunting task for the buyer.

To conclude
, I feel that although the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can be severe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, the advantages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certainly
and
easily
outweighs everything else.
However
, we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
supporting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses and be vigilant about the websites, from which we are buying.
Hence
, if we mix both types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, we can balance both and this will be giving us a nicer experience while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay There will be a traditional celebration in your country and you want to invite your friendfrom an English-speaking country. Write him/her a letter and- invite your friend, - explain what happens at the party, - describe the tradition and why it’s importan v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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