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You are about to start social meetings in a particular area where people from differentnationalities can take part. Write a letter to the editor of a local newspaper requestinghim to publish information about this: -- What activities you have planned- When v.1

You are about to start social meetings in a particular area where people from differentnationalities can take part. Write a letter to the editor of a local newspaper requestinghim to publish information about this: -- What activities you have planned- When v. 1
Nowadays, the Internet has developed so fast and brought to people so many benefits. However, some opinions show that using the Internet can bring not only advantages but also disadvantages. I think everything has both positive and negative sides, and the Internet is not an exception. First, the Internet makes it easier for modern people to do things in many aspects of life. People can choose to work at home instead of going to the office like the old days, and they can use social networking to send information or requests on the job quickly. Moreover, there are several educational resources online that you can get access easily and totally free, so the library and school are not the only places where you can get knowledge anymore. Also, people can use the Internet for entertainment and relaxing, such as beautiful songs or excellent movies or reality shows, with a high quality of image and sound. Furthermore, social networks like Facebook and Instagram, YouTube are loved using by a lot of young people. Through these sites, they can keep in touch with friends, share their interesting experiences, introduce the beauty of themselves or even make money from these activities. For example, a YouTuber who has a high number of followers could receive request to put advisement on his videos and has an income from them. In addition, these benefits cost Internet users little money or even free. On the other hand, the Internet has many disadvantages that can not be denied. Personal information, which can be got from social networking accounts or messages you send by Email and Messenger, can be stolen and used with bad intention. For example, some parents often show photos of their kids, which show the place and time of their activities daily, this action can lead to a kidnap. Moreover, people who use too much time online will be not self-motivated because of not having time for outdoor activities. Also, there are many harmful information on the Internet, so people who can not have the ability to distinguish right or wrong, like children, can get bad influence from these things. For example, watching violent or horror movies can have a bad effect on the growth of a kid. In conclusion, although the Internet has some disadvantages, but it has become a necessary part of daily life. People should have got access to information selectively and be careful with personal information as well as the strangers we talk to online. Besides, not spending too much time on the Internet is also a way to reduce the harmful effects.
Nowadays, the Internet has developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and brought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opinions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
that using the Internet can bring not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
disadvantages. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
everything has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides, and the Internet is not an exception.

First
, the Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do things in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can choose to work at home
instead
of going to the office like the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days, and they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social networking to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
or requests on the job
quickly
.
Moreover
, there are several educational resources online that you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access
easily
and
totally
free,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the library and school are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
places where you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge anymore.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet for entertainment and relaxing, such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
songs or excellent movies or reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, with a high quality of image and sound.
Furthermore
, social networks like Facebook and Instagram, YouTube are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
using by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Through these sites, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with friends, share their interesting experiences, introduce the beauty of themselves or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money from these activities.
For example
, a YouTuber who has a high number of followers could receive request to put advisement on his videos and has an income from them.
In addition
, these benefits cost Internet users
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
money or even free.

On the other hand
, the Internet has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages that can not
be denied
. Personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from social networking accounts or messages you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
by Email and Messenger, can
be stolen
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
intention.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
photos of their kids, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
the place and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of their activities daily, this action can lead to a kidnap.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
online will be not self-motivated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for outdoor activities.
Also
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on the Internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can not have the ability to distinguish right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, like children, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence from these things.
For example
, watching violent or horror movies can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on the growth of a kid.

In conclusion
, although the Internet has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has become a necessary part of daily life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
selectively
and be careful with personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
as well
as the strangers we talk to online.
Besides
, not spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the Internet is
also
a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the harmful effects.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You are about to start social meetings in a particular area where people from differentnationalities can take part. Write a letter to the editor of a local newspaper requestinghim to publish information about this: -- What activities you have planned- When v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
431 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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